The Creative Way

Curved, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

I have been reading the Artist's Way. My wife is the one who suggested it and for this i am thankful..i have been needing an awakening in my creative life after 5 months of hibernation...i suppose a major life change as in moving back to LA counts for some downtime, but now I am feeling as if I am waking back up...a sleeping giant...a creative powerhouse...a hungry cat...a hurricane force wind...an F5 Tornado...a Tasmanian Devil...i am opening my eyes all around me and opening my fears and doubts and looking at all things possible...a return to all things creative....

Wedding Day

Taylor's Dress...Wedding Day!, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

And just like that...my little sister is married...It was truly a magical day and there aren't many words that can express the overall joy and excitement in this new chapter...so I won't really try, but I will say this...

My sister is the most amazing sister in the world. I love you Tay.

A while

Blue, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

ok..so it has been a LONG time coming but I am finally writing again...I have been trying to figure out if I should start a new blog as I have actually moved back to Los Angeles, so the name is a bit confusing, but then I thought, this has always been more about my own journey no matter what city....so there...I'll keep it...

where do I start? First of all, Boulder was an amazing experience and it was elemental in my growth as a human being for many reasons. Without it I would not be able return to LA with a healthy perspective on life and family and myself, although I will say that the last few months has been a challenge for me as I have adjusted to a new life that at this point I am unaware of its path, which is a bit scary at times, but also the best way for me to live.

I will not go into all the gory details of my past few months, but I will say that the end result of returning to Santa Monica with my beloved wife and having the opportunity to start over here is amazing. Seeing my life through a fresh pair of eyes is the daily practice and keeping the heart open is the daily drill. I can't say i am successful yet on both accounts, but I am better than I have been before at the practice and for that I am grateful, but each day recently has been a challenge. Not from the typical challenge that some people face, from my own inward belief system that sometimes gets in the way. So I wake up each day trying to just be in that day and take advantage of the amazing support and love all around me so that I can be very clear about some of the next steps.

For those that are still here and faithful and have read my blog...thank you so much...I am excited to continue this journey with all of you...

Love and Understanding.

Bike Riding, Summer and the Unknown

Today is May 28 and summer seems to be here...a day or two early.  Yesterday I rode my bike in the weather that I love so much...hot hot hot and it made me happy.  Bike riding for me has always been a time of thought and meditation and during those rides I have usually come up with ideas, solutions, or faced fears that seem too big on the surface for me to deal with.  Right now in life I am faced with all three...some fears, some solutions, and some ideas but the progress in my mind is slow going.  There is a vast unknown aspect of life these days that is not unlike being in the Space Shuttle and drifting gently and quietly in space while looking deep into the universe knowing that there is more out there, but not being sure how to get there.  A sense of knowledge from the past and hindsight that will help with the coming future...but also the feeling of silence, the kind that one might feel on a small boat in the ocean in the middle of the night...a great journey is taking place, but at times, that journey does not come easy and will not give up its intentions of direction or winds that blow.  There is a similar feeling for me that i had when I first began writing this blog in 2007...it is the feeling of getting ready to launch and taking the time before to rest, eat, think and train for the mission at hand.  My life seems like a series of these missions, which i am thankful for.  They often occur with blinding speed and force and after each one, i realize how intense they were and how much was accomplished and only then can i reflect on the journey.  I think what I am trying to say is, life is like a series space missions...and in between we need to reflect, rest, recover and train for the next one...and never forget what we learned on the last one so each trip is more meaningful and safe and focused...but also fun.  So for now...all systems are a go, but the launch pad is quiet for a bit longer...

Love and Understanding

Snow Days

it has been a long winter...this peak still has snow on May 21 and although the day was warm, it was super windy.  It seems that even the weather these days is having some angst and some confusion.  So that makes me feel better since I am not the only one.  As of late, there is a general feeling of overall floating, which can be nice sometimes, but can also feel precarious due to its relaxed nature that brings upon a feeling of not being able to swim, or at least not wanting to.  I think it is important to have these times of floating and relaxing, but for some reason I always find it to be a huge challenge.  I get nervous and restless and sometimes depressed for small reasons, but the truth is, I am detoxing from the past few months of too much work and not enough relaxing time...so my challenge becomes, what do I do with all this time.

Good question.  Its not that I am being lazy and doing nothing, it just feels like at the moment, i have no particular direction.  I can think of many times in life that this feeling comes up and as I trust the motion, things come my way and I am open to the new experiences..sort of a life meditation.

As life brings its changes and challenges, meeting them head on can be hard work sometimes.  This work must be done though and by being aware of it, the forces will stay in line and become part of the daily process.  I asked myself last night what kind of goals i had set and realized that as of late, not many...at least not many that were specific enough to bring me forward.  Of course I meet little goals each day which is fun, but I am talking about a larger goal...and that is my challenge right now.  I am searching for the goal that will carry me forward and propel me up.  Not unlike this picture, where from far away, the mountain looms, but if I made a goal to go over it, I would simply need to go forward.  So that is what I will continue to do....Go Forward.

Love and Understanding

10 Percent of Life...

Ten percent of life is what happens to you...the other ninety percent is how you react to it...a phrase  I heard the other day which struck me and made me think of all the times I have let WAY more than 10% happen to me...I guess the idea that attitude and decisions are more important can be something we forget, and in doing so it can cause a ripple effect in our journey through the world.  I suppose it is more of a spiritual way of thinking, but it comes down to making choices about moment to moment life experiences.  How we react to the challenges and situations that come our way, to the people and things that seemingly want us to lose or not do well, or convince us that we are no good or too slow or lazy...

Practicing this is obviously easier said than done, but being aware of it is the key.  It is taking that small moment to think before acting or saying...to question why we are "reacting" in a certain way before giving it the final ok to do so...It is the knowledge that life does not lead us completely, it merely gives us a prod and poke, and just like the books we used to read as kids that asked us to turn to  page 46 or 78, we then choose and go for it.  

Our situations can vary greatly depending on the factors in our lives, and present so many different challenges and goals that we must take all of that into account and not shy away from any of it having the same weight.  Sometimes we, as humans, forget that even though someone in Haiti may have an extreme measure of 10%, our own 10% is just as extreme and important to our being.  We cannot discount each others 10% and we cannot discount our own 10%.  To do so will cheapen our drive to live and strive for the 90% we  so desire to achieve.  The trick is to value each others 10% and give it the importance it deserves by making choices to react and believe and to be good human beings.

If we can strive for being a good human being with the 90%, then we have accomplished some of what we are here for....if we make choices from love and understanding we will move through this life gracefully and softly without prejudice, hate, or self doubt...

Much of the misunderstanding in the world comes from our own insecurities.  If we imagine that the person in front of us is merely presenting a facet of intense insecurity around a certain 10%, we can then adjust ourselves to match the better side of that person and strive for an even ground of understanding by being a good human  being.

Just as we need to give them a chance, more importantly, we need to give ourselves a chance...so often I don't give myself a chance to be wrong, or tired, or slow, or sick, or sad, or angry, or excited, or scared...Would I take that chance away from a young child?  No...I would listen and talk to them and acknowledge and give them space to be...and chances are, they would come back ten fold with an abundant spirit ready for the next moment.

Giving permission to myself to be whatever it is I need to be in this moment is the lesson for today....I am moving on to the 90% right now and loving every minute of it...

Love and Understanding.

The Funeral

Checkers, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

Sitting in the church that I don't go to, at a funeral for someone that i had the good fortune of knowing for a very short time, amongst many people that i became friends with over the last 2 years was surreal to say the least...In the back row i couldn't help but look around and see how many people were connected and brought together by just one person...and i thought, if only we could understand that completely before we go...it seems almost like a silly joke not really being able to know that...It is sad that this beautiful young woman who was just getting to the good stuff in life went so early, but as someone said in the ceremony, we should remember the great things about her...that is true.

so as I was sitting there thinking about this loss and all those around me in various stages of grief, disbelief, denial, anger, sadness, and shock, I thought about my own life...how can we not? At first i felt selfish for thinking that way, but the truth is, we all need this once and a while to wake up and see the true paths of our life...it is so easily gone and done that it makes the things we do seem that much more important...It is easy to get overwhelmed with the everyday life that we lead; trying to be aware of our impending doom and therefore finding a balance between escaping mediocrity and living a wonderful life full of leisure and love and friendship...a balance of doing important things for ourselves, our friends and our families, and doing completely ridiculous things that only come around once and a while in life...I think as I get older i see this differently and from a place of more understanding that death is simply the fact...so based on that fact, I, as a man and person, need to wake up differently each day and ask a question..."what do I get to do today?" or as someone once said..."if you got hit by a truck today, would you go having done what you wanted?" shit...easier said than done, but how true...and each day is a new chance for it and a new chance to battle all of the things each day that get in the way of truly having joy and living to the fullest...

I have been sick with a pretty bad cold this week and for a while I have been feeling a bit, well, on the down side...but after today....i can feel better about it...i get to continue down my path....right or wrong, happy or sad...it is the path that I am on for reasons sometimes unknown....

Love and Understanding

Spring

R U Home?, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

yep...spring is here and so are the colds and weird flu like things floating around in the air...i am fighting one bravely and will not give in!! i can't!!!

This feeling of adventure in life that invades the moment right before we fall asleep is one that keeps us thinking about the future and the possibilities of our lives and how we want them to be. I fell asleep thinking of my vision and how I want life to look...i am not going to share it with you here as it is still in its personal phases and although important to share, I want to protect it while it is forming...i think the power of believing and visualizing is under rated and should be valued more often in life...if you can think it you can do it...but that is not necessarily taught to us as young children all the time...at least from a standpoint of believing you can do anything besides the ho hum and the hum drum.

The wildest things you can imagine let's say...that can be our life. Why not? Why the hell couldn't it be the way we actually dream it to be? What stands in our way??? us...that's what...our own doubt and fear and lack of belief. So knowing that is half the battle and practicing the ability to go beyond ourselves is the daily challenge...why couldn't it all be bigger than life?

its like the picture above...each buzzer representing another way in and giving us different options in life...a wacky crooked haphazard billboard of possibility right in front of us...its all there, we just have to believe in it.

so today, choose the buzzer you most feel connected to and you most believe in and go there....live there and see how it feels. Heck, you can always change your mind...

Love and Understanding

The Journey

Plymouth 1, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

The journey is the adventure...and so this last weekend was truly an adventure for Easter in Northern California...we explored the streets of San Francisco, ate fine food and drank wine in an amazing barn turned into a magical home in Graton, rode bikes across green rolling hills to Pt Reyes Station and had coffee and marveled at the cool temps and amazing views, spent time with two little ones who love to play and sing and dance, and met parts of the family we never knew we had...all in a few days...each day is another opportunity for more exploration and adventure...so let's get to it....

Love and Understanding

mustache March 31

The End....what a journey it was....Guido, Smarmy Guy, Who Are You?, Chaplin!!!  all in a month of mustache memories...Today is a sad day indeed as the Stache has been shaved and all is back to normal...although i must admit, it does feel good to have a smooth upper lip.  For those of you who have tuned in, thank you for coming along...it has been fun and filled with controversy and humor and well, things unexpected...I will forever cherish my mustache that I spent so much time with...going on walks, and bike rides and eating good food and drinking good wine and laughing and smiling and drinking beer and watching movies and napping and just hanging out....i am sure i will see you again someday!

"life is but a breathe...breathe deep."

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 30

Well folks...its here...Mustache day 30....as you can see, I am feeling fairly giddy and pretty groovy and well, my nose is huge...but the glasses are fly and my stache is as sweet as it will get....today is the last day before the shaving of the stache and it will be a sad day indeed, but what can i say...my wife wants to be able to get close without being scraped and burned by the stache....I have come up with multiple characters just because i had a little bit of lip hair...how fun is that???

what can i grow next???

"just when you think you can't go any further...you can."

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 29

and so it goes...i did not win the mustache show down...as you can tell...he was not pleased, but I was proud to have stood with other brave men who had also spent quality time growing the stache and we were all proud to be there...each stache a little different and all amazing in their own way.  I am proud to say that I have reached the end of this journey...in a few hours I will be shaving and yes i know, it is two days early, but I must due to a photo shoot coming up that will be my face of which I don't want to scare to many potential clients away for boxing...so I will shave but i have a few things to do yet...the shaving will take place with great care and the pictures will show the phases of the great stache...a sort of ritual to bless the stache on its way...

"Mondays are a good day to chill"

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 26

The days of Mustache March are drawing to an end and my stache's days are limited, much to the joy of my wife and i am sure some others...but I have grown attached to my friend..i feel like he comes with me and hangs out and has his own life...is that weird?  I can't help it...it was hard work growing such a magnificent stache...I will forever cherish my mustache and it's subtle ways of wooing the ladies...mostly my wife...but the ladies nonetheless...or wait, maybe I am mistaking the wooing for spooking...yeah...probably more spooking...

"Believe in your success"

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 24

yes...hello mustache march 24...24 days of my life devoted towards growing you and bringing you to fruition...and finally...it is full...i have attained mustache fullness...well mostly.  Everything i do now has some thought about my mustache in it...eating something messy, or kissing my wife, or shaving, or simply walking around...the mustache has consumed me and will inevitably be a legend in its own time.  I realize that someday my child will see these pictures and say, " dang dad...you had one hell of a mustache!"...and we will laugh and I will say..."yes i did.  Yes i did."  

"showing up is half the battle."

Love and Understanding

mustache March 23

ahhhh!!!!  Mustache 23 warp speed!!!!  well it is snowing again here...and very hard...yesterday was 66 degrees!  oh well...so the stache has for sure become a part of me and it will be a sad day to shave it...maybe I will donate it to the mustache hall of fame.  I constantly get this comment..."I didn't recognize you with that stache.."  so i guess i have transformed a bit, but I am still me...only a bit more stachey.

March in Colorado is snowy.

" A hero is judged not by his deeds, but how he overcomes the obstacles put in front of him."

Love and Understanding.

Birthday Stache 22

ok...it is official...I have turned 38 today with a mustache...you can see how awesome it makes me look when carving a sweet turn in the snow...a smarmy sweet ski swoosh...Today is my birthday and I went skiing this morning and it was fantastic!!  I woke up to awesome presents from my amazing wife and slept well from a great night prior of eating and celebrating...so life is just getting sweeter!!!!  

so here is to birthdays!!!

Love and Understanding.

Mustache March 19 & 20

Ok...so I missed a day...yes...yesterday...Mustache 19...so today is Mustache 20 but I am making up for it...last night I took some mustache hormones to make it extra special and as you can see...well...something went awry and although the mustache is rather large I look like William Macy..sort of...or some sort of freakish mustached hooligan on steroid injections in all the wrong places.  In two days I will have a birthday and this mustache will be the gift i have given myself....ok...not to worry...this is not really how I woke up but damn if it doesn't make my stache look Gi Normous....so go ahead and laugh...laugh at my expense as I journey down this road of stubble and "chimp lip" and comments all day long about how creepy i look and i belong in a porno, or "are you a cop?" or, "Hey Magnum!" or "gee, i think it is kind of sexy"...secretly i love them all and welcome them on a daily basis...so bring it on...

"All things on the outside were first created on the inside."

Love and Understanding.

mustache March 18

Today is Mustache Day 18....i just realized that I can make the letter "M" as in  Manly Man with my upper lip...observe the above picture....ok...so here i am...and below is my father at a young age with a tremendously successful stache the likes that i may never know...but I know it is in my genes at least!!!  So here is to my dad...a man who can wear a mustache like no other...that's what I'm talkin bout...

"if you build it...they will come"

Love and Understanding.

Mustache March 17

And so it has come to pass...Mustache March Day 17..St Patty's Day...and this night we wore robes and watched The Big Lebowski and drank White Russians in the Boulder Theater...fun was had by all!!!  I don't know what to think about the stache today...it seems slightly unorganized...like some of the whiskers haven't agreed to be a part of it and there is a debate in the congress of stache...and the house is losing....will it get thicker and more respectable???  Stay tuned...there are still some days left in this grand ol month of Mustache March....


"He's a good man...and thorough...."


Love and Understanding.

Mustache March 16

Oh Mustache March 16 how i love you so...you brought me Boeuf don't you know....it was fantastic and full of wine and good things like Thyme, and meat and potatoes too, and a carrot and pearl onions like soup, and this wine we drank and it was fine....Cote de Rhone off the vine...so fine....and a whole bottle of red wine simmered for 4 hours is so divine...we sat in the sun and soaked it in and had our fill and laughed and cheered and ate it all...well almost...the leftovers will only be more amazing and full of zest and i will most likely eat the rest...i am a happy man...yes i am, it was the best!

"patience is a virtue."

Love and Understanding.

Mustache March 15

Bon Nuit Mustache March 15...i have just completed (well almost...another 1/2 hour or so) my first attempt at cooking Boeuf Bourgninon (spelling??) by Julia Childs...ever since I saw Julia and Julia and also since reading the book about Julia Childs, "My Life in Paris"...i have wanted to make this dish...let me tell you...it has been a long night...I started cooking at around 7 or so...it is now midnight or close to it, but I will say that so far...the smells and tastes are amazing...it is for tomorrow night so the stew will have another day or so to meld and be amazing.  This is a thank you dinner for my mom and Turtle as they have helped Nita and I so much over the last year with all our moves and life hurdles...it is sure to be a grand meal...i will let you know how it goes!!!

"Saute the mushrooms with lots of butter and at a high temp and don't crowd them in the pan!"

au revoir!!!

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 14

oh my mustache march 14...so close to my birthday..wierd!!!  So today is another attempt at a look alike...and since I had a ton of mexican food last night and spent the whole day...umm...how should I say...gone with the wind...i dedicate this one to Mr Gable....he too probably used to love mexican food and when not impressing the ladies took long walks to...ahem...clear his mind.

today it snowed all day at the mountain, but i didn't care...i smiled and laughed and had a great time at "work"....i came home to my amazing wife who made fish tacos...yes more mexican food...she loves it.

the stache is taking on a life of its own...i saw myself in the mirror and was amazed at its...size?  or maybe its overall spread and the slight downturn...I did notice that Mr Gable aint got nothing on my stache...Nita said, "he'd be handsome if only for the mustache..."  So you see...even Clark Gable would have gotten some shit from my wife...so there!!!

"drink red wine..because it feels good!"

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 13

after a long day of work at the ski mountain and a late night of mexican food...i am sleepy...i think the stache is still awake though...that is all...

Mustache March 12

Yeah Mustache 12!!!  what a great day!!! got up early and trained 5 people this morning and one of my questions was...."Who does this mustache make me look like???".....about 1 min later the unanimous response was...."Matt Dillon in Something About Mary!"  Yes....i'll take it....Pat Healy...the smarmy dude who will do anything for blondie...

So with that in mind on this fantastically fabulous friday...i go out into the world with my Pat Healy stache hoping to spread smarminess to all!!!!

May the day be filled with happy hours!!!

"remember, moderation in moderation"

Love and Understanding!

Mustache March 11

Hey man...mustache day 11...yeah....totally...today i went skiing after work for a few hours...then i came home and had a beer...and some nachos...now i am going to happy hour with la familia...i am really growing attached to my friend...you know what happened??? i was skiing and i got a few icicles on the sides of my stache....well sort of...but it was cool...some guy let me merge in traffic and I am convinced it was because i had a mustache and looked...well...a little bit smarmy....

"if you laugh alot...things will feel better."

-anonymous

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 10h

Mustache Morning 10:  Who let Freddy Mercury in??  yep...i am in the Freddy Mercury Stache Stage 1...ok..i guess the wife beater doesn't help, but what can I say?  Coming up at my other job at the ski mountain, we have a day that is celebrated each year...Retro Day...i have come to the conclusion that this mustache will play a key role in any costume I can come up with...i only wish my hair was a bit longer so I can slick it back and really look...guidoesque...new word..."how guidoesque of you"...

"mind over matter"  today is about using our minds to give our body a push...

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 9

Mustache Island Day 9....feeling very "stachey" today...i am starting to feel my upper lip hair on the bottom of my nose if i crinkle it just right.  Still not long enough for food to get caught in.  The wife cries out in pain after each smooch...must not take it to heart as I know she still loves me...smarmy and all.  With my hat on i look like a hood rat...people don't look at me in the eyes too much.  I feel empowered in my smarminess and my Trans Am driving attitude.  I am in search of a large gold chain.  Today is cloudy with a chance of rain.  I have to remember to island for fresh razors to keep the rest of my face baby ass smooth.

"Smile at a stranger today."

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 8

Monday Mustache day 8...woke up today...kind of grey outside. Ate some cereal and had some coffee.  Thought about things i could do...thought about things i want to do.  Did some of both...went to Target.  Many people wandering around seemingly not very happy...must remember to surround myself with the people who are happy in life and who want to be where they are.  The mustache is beginning to draw attention from those who could have sworn that yesterday i didn't have one.  I think it is filling in a bit better now.  Some reactions may be out of fear or smarminess...some out of i don't know.  8 days in...must rest...need to conserve my strength for the remaining days on Mustache Island...the natives are restless...
i learned how to eat a coconut.


today I will surround myself with good people....


Love and Understanding

Mustache March 7

ok...good morning Mustache 7....above is the picture of an early

morning foray into the new me...the face i am making seems to 

come quite easily with the stache...the stache of smarminess as my 

lovely wife likes to call it...she secretly admires it and wants one

and when I came home today, i discovered something about her

that I had never known...she likes to play dress up...see below.

the sad thing, is her stache is looking pretty damn fine and mine

is looking a bit weak still...I think she is doing an impression of

Don Juan the coffee guy with the Donkey, but I am not sure...either

way, i am very jealous of this and hope that i can grow a tremendous

stache over the next month.  it dawns on me that I will be 38 and I have

never "grown" a mustache on purpose...maybe that is a good thing given

all of the comments i am enduring in the day..such as..."Hey Tom!" as in 

Tom Selleck in a Ferrari in Hawaii...or..."Are you a police man?" (that was asked

twice by two small children at ski school...don't know if i should be flattered or

just confused...in any case...my wifes mustache is awesome...

thought of the day....

"man who goes to bed with hairy lip, wakes up with a hairier one."

still growing...

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 6

hola mustache day 6...ok..now we are really onto the good stuff...just the stache at this point as I awoke early and shaved off the surrounding stubble...so why is the stache so feared and hated and not allowed in the workplace???  already the drama is surrounding my stache with flair and dubious amounts of weary eyes, but i had many a compliment today on my first week...so I will survive and I intend to fight the good stache fight....

thought of the day:

sometimes fear makes us scared which in turn makes us pee in our pants...but don't worry...chances are, someone has clean underwear for you somewhere....so just go for it.

Love and Understanding

mustache March 5

well ciao mustache number 5...so just for a few of you out there who seem concerned that I haven't shaved my whole face yet...i have been shaving my whole face for almost 2 years straight so i needed a break, but tomorrow I will have to shave due to the dress code at the mountain...so everything will go except the stache...so it will be official after that and you won't be confused by any additional stubble....

ok...so i am getting the hairy lip syndrome now which is simply the first moment when you start to realize that far too much has accumulated...sit tight and enjoy the mustache ride of the century...how will it all turn out?  what will happen?  who will be alarmed and who will be....charmed??  (not many i am sure)...tune in each day and find out!!!

quote for the day....

"life is sweeter when you share it with someone you love."

so i choose my wife and we are going to see a concert for the first friday off in a long time!!!

Love and Understanding

Mustache March 4

                             

oh...hello mustache day 4...how are you?  so really as I look at these pics, my hope for a very large

and awe inspiring handle bar mustache ala the cowboy in The Big Lebowski is fading.  I am still

hopeful that I will reach smarmy guido stage 2 and when I stare at people they will not really know what to 

think...

ok...

here it is for the day.

"Just when you think you are ok with traffic you are not, so remember to keep breathing

and don't flip anyone the bird who looks like me with a smarmy stage 2 guido stache."

ciao

Love and Understanding.

Mustache March 3

well hello mustache day 3.  Today was incredible outside...58 degrees and so nice to be in the sun.  I was sitting at the Subaru dealer waiting for the car to be serviced and struck up a conversation with an older woman who was trying to decide if she and her husband should move to Seattle.  I told her she should...and that it rains...and that they should drive from Los Angeles up the coast all the way and that Ashland, Or is a beautiful place.  She was from Santa Barbara and told me her 96 year old grandmother had a beach house on the beach in Santa Barbara...that is cool...so for today...think of the things you always wanted and find a way to achieve them....




Love and Understanding

Good morning mustache day 2.  By the way, my wife believes I will look very smarmy with this Stach...so just a word of warning... I just had a great cup of coffee after training my first boxing client this morning...I have really been enjoying the early morning once I am up and being physical first thing...so this reminds me of another thing to work on and remember.

the best thing to do when you are tired, or sore, or feeling lazy, is to simply move...get up and move...go for a walk, jump rope, clean the house, whatever it may be, just move...as my teacher said..."it is hard to get something moving, but once it is, the task is easier..."  (or something to that effect.)

Love and Understanding.

Mustache March

ok...so this month to celebrate my new path, i am participating in Mustache March...so this is the first day and I will be posting my mustache journey on a daily basis...I will also be adding some sort of important piece of love with each post...a saying, a thought a random observation...they will be simple entries, but my hope is that the mustache will conjure up a lot of laughs...and awe of course....

the first comes from my new Muay Thai class....

"How you do one thing, is how you do everything."

Love and Understanding

Love and Understanding.

a new phase

so things are changing...not the seasons...no it is still winter and still very cold, but things are changing.  Why so vague? you ask...because they are morphing into things a bit unknown.  A machine has been set in motion to begin moving in a new direction and this process has everything to do with setting it down and watching it go.  I was listening to a radio talk show the other day and they were talking about a little space robot going to Venus.  It would take 4 months to get there and the life span of this robot would be only 3 hours and maybe a little more if they were lucky.  This robot is the work of many hands and 3 million dollars...and they just shoot it up into space and trust the process from there...can you imagine?  all this time and energy for 3 hours and who knows what will happen to it in those 3 hours?  So the robot lands and now what?   Talk about going with the flow.   Am I pretending to be a space robot being shot into orbit for 4 months?  kind of...will i last longer than 3 hours?  for sure.  Does anyone at Nasa know what to expect?  i don't know.  Do I?  nope....it is all in the work before the launch...the trust, the skill, the conditioning of the mind and body.  When I land, only then will things present themselves and it might become a little clearer at that moment, but it might be even harder...who the hell knows???

i suppose that is the way life goes and for that, i am excited...not without some apprehension of course, but mostly excitement.

the next 6 months will be a journey of hard work on myself and on the things i love.  I intend to develop self discipline to bring out the best in myself and others.


the boat sets sail on Friday.


Love and Understanding

The Road

the rope, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

This sums it up right about now...how I feel...or at least how I want to feel these days...skipping rope on the road of life...i always want to remember this moment and the feelings i had during this day...the warm sun, the freedom, the not knowing what would be in store in the immediate future, the quiet all around...the sound of the humming rope tapping the pavement and whirring past my ears with each turn, the breathing that becomes methodic when skipping rope...

some days are better than others of course...today it is snowing and i have a cold and although i am happy to rest a bit, it feels as if the road will not be there tomorrow, which I know is not true...the road is always there and the journey is always ready to be taken.

I think this image sums up my life in a way...the road is open and willing and life should be about skipping rope and smiling and being free...


Love and Understanding.

The Last Stand

last stand, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

This i know....our lives are a series of events that fuel our souls and fires and sometimes when the world around is burning and drowning and dying and starving, we forget that it doesn't really matter because in our own minds we are burning and starving and dying...the notion that we have to leave our pain and recognize other peoples pain and thus take away and minimize our own problems, suffering and disaster is a heavy burden. It is a guilt ridden and holistic way to deny our own feelings of despair and anger and desperation.

I am speaking not only for myself, but for all of us in this moment. There is so much hurt and anger and betrayal and horrible tragedy that we all share and the delicate balance of allowing ourselves the outrage and the fury and the pure energy of wanting to smash the windows of the soul in and dive into oblivion versus the side of us that just wants to find the good in it all and the lesson....the ability to want to say it is ok and i know you didn't mean it and i forgive you....but one cannot just wipe away the violent act of betrayal and lies...the rotten stench of someone smiling and saying something they don't believe and will never admit that they said to you in the first place. That is something that I am and, unfortunately, always will be, a mercenary of, with the foulest intent to revenge all that is sacred in my life...my goodness, my trust, my pride, my love, my joy and my integrity.

I am a warrior, albeit peaceful I suppose, but even the peaceful warrior must take arms and not let the dark penetrate the light...and sometimes this is done by killing the spirit of the evil, rotting stench that we live through...by standing up and being terrifying and furious and moving a wall of powerful hot white burning light forward over the hoards of the dark dank masses who have gathered outside the gates.

As a warrior, our training should be focused and powerful so that when the enemy is in our trench, we are smarter and more powerful then they ever perceived or could have imagined. Their words are simply blips and beeps and sounds that do not register and our heartbeat is a sonar that seeks out and destroys the buzzing blips like a bat to a tiny gnat in the pitch black..searingly fast and sharp and precise...taking each gnat quickly and quietly and with force so violent that the gnat never lived a life, but only died feeding the soul of the aggressor.

Most of you know my writing as a positive world...a place of uplift and joy, but most of you don't know that my writing came out of despair and hurt and frustration originally...and in truth, it is one of my greatest weapons and skills as a peaceful warrior...to paint a world of middle ages the likes no one has seen...

This is the other side of being a writer...bringing the dark and bringing it hard. Do not hold back and do not hesitate for this is the power of the warrior who has trained his whole life to thwart the vast notion that this life is perfect. One must be able to live in that world too in order to come out.

Look around us right now...this world is engulfed in a dark battle of life and death and distrust and betrayal and loss and hate and misunderstanding that only leads to a final cataclysmic fate the likes no one has seen.

The flag...with the faded yellow and red and the ominous dark sky is the beacon of the last survivors and will be there when the dark is all consuming...it is the Last Stand and we must search it out in our souls...we must not give in...

we must stand our ground and dig our feet in and hold our shield high and drive our fist with a blade stronger than ever into an enemy that will not stop and will not forgive and will not die...your light must be more powerful than any Big Bang Theory...for this is the power of the likes they have never seen...a power so bright that it will burn their retinas and sear the skin from their bones and melt the metal around them...

I am not afraid of what is before me. I will move through and blaze my glory through a swath of disbelief and unrelenting blows that will serve as reminders that i will not fall and I will not be ground down.

Is this an apocalyptic entry? I do not pretend to be anything but a warrior at this time and place. I only ask that you embrace your warrior inside and stand up for your integrity and shine a light on the dark world.

I am prepared and ready.

winter, 2010 and other musings

Leaning, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

wow...so it has been a while since i have written and I am convinced it is due to the winter of discontent...well not really so much, but I do feel that this deep freeze winter is contributing to my lack of wanting to do much of anything. Oh and the fact that I have somehow managed to create a work schedule that is consuming my every moment, which will for sure have to change sooner than later, and not to mention i just feel lazy.

The holidays were fantastic and full of family and friends and great parties and the New Year was rung in very nicely and my wife just had her 29th birthday and we have to move again...all of this seems to be overwhelming at first when i think of it, but the reality is that all of it is the amazing full journey that we are moving through and getting to experience with grace and mercy as my mom would say.

As I have lately felt my creative juices simmering on low, it has been a time of reflection and wonder at where I am and where we might be going in life. All things possible and available and all things ready for the taking....it is the moment of decision and commitment of course that is in suspended animation at this moment that makes it seem so far off. I guess the fact that it is 6 degrees out doesn't help much either these days. I have come to the conclusion that as much as I like the snow and the idea of winter, i am not a winter person...i grew up in Southern California and no matter how long i spend here, or how much i try and rationalize winter, it just isn't a fit for me....I went through this in Oregon in the rain too...months of rain and dreary weather did not do so well for me. At least in Boulder, there is alot more sun, but it is a lifestyle change that I don't think i'll ever fully feel ok about. I am not saying that the weather is perfect and always warm back home, but there is for sure a different feel that seems normal to me. This business of constantly being cold, shoveling snow, cleaning the crap off the car, putting on layers of clothes, not being able to just go outside, and spending too much time inside just is not my bag baby.

I don't want to come across like I am complaining...i am simply having a dialogue with myself, and anyone who will read this, about the fact that I feel a certain way and I acknowledge why that might be...

It is kind of like being a sports car made for going fast, and all that ever happens is some old fart drives it slow for a block to work every day...wouldn't you be a little frustrated if you were that car?
Thats all i'm saying.

so for now, I know that this is all temporary and seasons will change and our lives will change too, but realizing the facts can sometimes make us feel better.

happy new year

Love and Understanding.