Saturday, April 24, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Sitting in the church that I don't go to, at a funeral for someone that i had the good fortune of knowing for a very short time, amongst many people that i became friends with over the last 2 years was surreal to say the least...In the back row i couldn't help but look around and see how many people were connected and brought together by just one person...and i thought, if only we could understand that completely before we go...it seems almost like a silly joke not really being able to know that...It is sad that this beautiful young woman who was just getting to the good stuff in life went so early, but as someone said in the ceremony, we should remember the great things about her...that is true.
so as I was sitting there thinking about this loss and all those around me in various stages of grief, disbelief, denial, anger, sadness, and shock, I thought about my own life...how can we not? At first i felt selfish for thinking that way, but the truth is, we all need this once and a while to wake up and see the true paths of our life...it is so easily gone and done that it makes the things we do seem that much more important...It is easy to get overwhelmed with the everyday life that we lead; trying to be aware of our impending doom and therefore finding a balance between escaping mediocrity and living a wonderful life full of leisure and love and friendship...a balance of doing important things for ourselves, our friends and our families, and doing completely ridiculous things that only come around once and a while in life...I think as I get older i see this differently and from a place of more understanding that death is simply the fact...so based on that fact, I, as a man and person, need to wake up differently each day and ask a question..."what do I get to do today?" or as someone once said..."if you got hit by a truck today, would you go having done what you wanted?" shit...easier said than done, but how true...and each day is a new chance for it and a new chance to battle all of the things each day that get in the way of truly having joy and living to the fullest...
I have been sick with a pretty bad cold this week and for a while I have been feeling a bit, well, on the down side...but after today....i can feel better about it...i get to continue down my path....right or wrong, happy or sad...it is the path that I am on for reasons sometimes unknown....
Love and Understanding
Thursday, April 8, 2010
yep...spring is here and so are the colds and weird flu like things floating around in the air...i am fighting one bravely and will not give in!! i can't!!!
This feeling of adventure in life that invades the moment right before we fall asleep is one that keeps us thinking about the future and the possibilities of our lives and how we want them to be. I fell asleep thinking of my vision and how I want life to look...i am not going to share it with you here as it is still in its personal phases and although important to share, I want to protect it while it is forming...i think the power of believing and visualizing is under rated and should be valued more often in life...if you can think it you can do it...but that is not necessarily taught to us as young children all the time...at least from a standpoint of believing you can do anything besides the ho hum and the hum drum.
The wildest things you can imagine let's say...that can be our life. Why not? Why the hell couldn't it be the way we actually dream it to be? What stands in our way??? us...that's what...our own doubt and fear and lack of belief. So knowing that is half the battle and practicing the ability to go beyond ourselves is the daily challenge...why couldn't it all be bigger than life?
its like the picture above...each buzzer representing another way in and giving us different options in life...a wacky crooked haphazard billboard of possibility right in front of us...its all there, we just have to believe in it.
so today, choose the buzzer you most feel connected to and you most believe in and go there....live there and see how it feels. Heck, you can always change your mind...
Love and Understanding
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The journey is the adventure...and so this last weekend was truly an adventure for Easter in Northern California...we explored the streets of San Francisco, ate fine food and drank wine in an amazing barn turned into a magical home in Graton, rode bikes across green rolling hills to Pt Reyes Station and had coffee and marveled at the cool temps and amazing views, spent time with two little ones who love to play and sing and dance, and met parts of the family we never knew we had...all in a few days...each day is another opportunity for more exploration and adventure...so let's get to it....
Love and Understanding