Wednesday, June 25, 2008

5 am

5 am is very quiet...the stream next to the window makes a constant gurgling noise but it is almost not noticeable.  The coffee pot makes a hissing locomotive sound that lures me out of bed and into the soft morning air that has a slight breeze on its breathe.  I am awake now after a shower and shave but the day is birds singing quite yet and the sun is barely peeking out of its covers.  Most of the city is still asleep..except the garbage man.

Love and Understanding.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Early Mornings

I love early mornings, once I am actually feels like you are ahead of everyone else and get to have quiet and peace before the day actually starts.  My dad is king when it comes to the early morning session.  Growing up I always remember hearing him head out to the gym around 5 or 5:30, and then back at 6:30 and then off to work around 8 or so at the latest...once and a while I would try to get on his routine, but I was never very good at the early morning thing.  To this day, he can get up at the crack ass of dawn, without much problem it seems...when we go on our yearly motorcycle rides, he's up and ready to go by 6...I think it is a gene thing maybe?  I suppose I have always been more of a night person so I stay up later and I like to get around 8 hours of sleep, but still...later in life, due to construction etc, I had to adjust and wake up around 6:15 or so in the am, and eventually I became more able to do so, but rarely without great pains and at least 5 "Snooze" button know the kind...two more minutes feels like an hour and you are thinking, "just this morning, I'd pay a million to sleep another hour"....then on your days off, you are wide awake early?  must have to do with the job thing I guess...If you like your job maybe it is easier?  I don't know, but I sure do appreciate my dad's early morning abilities to start the day.  

Dad, thanks for the early morning training.  I love you.  You'd be proud...this morning, i never touched the snooze button once...and the coffee was ready too.

Love and Understanding

Monday, June 23, 2008


No, not the movie, although if you haven't seen it, it is pretty entertaining...surprisingly...No, i mean an Iron Man...My best friend Gus Harper, the famous artist, just finished his first Iron Man in Coeur d' Lane Idaho yesterday...damn.  Ok, just to spell it out...first it is a 2.4 mile swim, followed by 112 miles on the bike and then a marathon 26.2 miles.  Ok, let's talk about this.  First of all, swimming 2.4 miles, umm...yeah, I don't even like to swim a lap in a pool, much less 2.4 miles of that crap.  Imagine swimming from your house to your favorite bar and back (ok, I am assuming that you like beer and that bar is 1.2 miles away) but really, think about how far that the water, swimming...oh, and then add the fact that all around you kicking you in the face and legs and arms are 1000 other swimmers...Ok, that alone sounds gnarly..yes I just used the word gnarly and for any of you not used to this nomenclature, I will gladly spend some time on that word for you...

Gnarly-adj., Noun, Adv.-  To be crazy, extremely difficult to do, huge in size, brave, stupidly brave, largely out of proportion to anything else you have ever seen, simply unreal or unbeleivable.   "Dude, that was the gnarliest wave I have ever ridden".  "Damn, that guy is gnarly".  Holy shit, that was GNARLY!!!""Shred the Gnar dude." "I just had the gnarliest burrito of all times." "Gnarly gnarl man."  "Those girls were super gnarly" (not a good thing)  "that was some gnarly shit dude".  " G N A R L Y" (to be used when nothing else will suffice and only in the gnarliest of gnarly situations when you can't believe your eyes)

So you see, that swim is the beginning of a very gnarly event and the swim itself is gnarly.  If you haven't mastered the use of this word yet, please practice and then we can move on to "bitchen", but that is very advanced, of course after "dude"....

Ok, so Gus has just completed his 2.4 mile swim and is now riding his bike for 112 miles...ok, for those of you who have never ridden over 2o miles on a bike, what the hell is the problem...just kidding, but really get on your bike, seriously, for those of you who have not ridden 100 miles on a bike, this is a great accomplishment and everyone should try it in their life.  It often requires 6-8 hours of time and energy and depending on the weather, roads, hills etc. it can be very for the fun of it, add 12 more me at mile 100 and let me know how those last 12 miles are going, because this is....(wait for it) GNARLY...oh yeah, you just did a 2.4 mile, I have been a cyclist all my life and I have ridden 100 miles and more quite a few times in my life and it is never easy...never. I don't care who you talk to and how many  miles they have ridden...IT IS NOT EASY.   Did i mention I hate to swim?  ok, so now our superhero Gus is on the bike for 6 hours and 21 minutes, (forgive me if that time is off a bit Gus, but I think that was right) which I think was an average speed of 17. 6 miles per hour...that is awesome...and gnarly....dude, bitchin!!  That is fast and a constant speed of 17-18 miles per hour...go out and try it and call me back.  oh, don't forget to swim first.  To give you some perspective....Pro cyclists do 100 miles at race pace in a pack in around 4-5 hours...but Gus is alone...there is no drafting in an Iron Man...Gus is a gnarly dude. comes the part that makes me curl up and cry like a little girl...a marathon...ok, I hate running and the thought of running a marathon makes me poopie in my pants...Gus happens to be a runner and has run his whole life...not a jogger, but a kick ass runner who has competed at national levels before, but he hasn't run too many marathons (maybe none?)  So Gus goes out and runs his marathon in 4 hours and 2 minutes...I think Lance Armstrong ran a 3 hour 20...but don't forget boys and girls...he just rode flippin 112 miles and swam 2.4 miles....Can you all practice your new word?  Gnarly....yes, Gnarly.  He ran a 9:14 mile pace...ok, remember, that is for each mile...I can barely run an 8 min mile much less keep that up for two miles in a row...and for sure not after I rode 112 miles...Yesterday I rode 70 miles and came home and drank a beer.  ok?  Gnarly.

So, to my friend Gus Harper, You are the Gnarliest dude I know.  Congratulations on your amazing race and finish...way to kick some ass !!!!!  Remind me to never run with you and I am currently working on my cycling so I can keep up and I hate swimming so don't even try.

You are the man!

Love and Understanding.

Saturday, June 14, 2008


I was having a beautiful day today working as  a SAG driver for a century bike ride in Boulder..that means I am driving back and forth on one of the legs in the century to support the riders...right near the end of my shift, we all heard a call that a cyclist had been hit be a truck...I was 5 minutes away and came up on a horrible scene....the above picture is the result, apparently, of a rider who had tried to cross the road and never saw a truck coming....I sat with one of the course marshalls who had been there and seen it and she was really shaken up...I was sick to my stomach as a cyclist to be reminded of how dangerous our roads are.  I saw them pick up the body and I later found out he died of his injuries at the Boulder Hospital.  His leg was nearly severed and I am sure it was a horrible thing to see.  

I don't think it really matters who is at fault today and I was very disturbed to read in the daily newspaper, already, comments from people who are completely callous of the fact that someone lost their life today...The same thing that happens every day all over the country and the world I suppose, but when it is right in front of you and real...then, I think it is a different feeling.  I can't quite enjoy my day today knowing that there is a family who is completely changed...Having been a cyclist for a long time and having many friends and family who are also cyclists, this really hits home and reminds me how precious life is.  I am thinking of that family and I am happy to be home and have mine.

Love and Understanding.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Ears and stuff

Yesterday we hiked up to the top of a beautiful scenic spot above Boulder and looked out on the city, which was breathtaking and beautiful.  Full of green trees that were so thick you could only make out the taller buildings downtown.  Behind were the mountains and at that moment I had the realization that i was truly staring at my city...the city I would live in and be a part of for a long time.  It was quiet up there and we had an amazing picnic and sat and talked and planned and laughed and imagined what could and would be...I like that bench.  

In three weeks we are off to Door County for a family vacation and I can't wait as I haven't been there for at least 10 years.  My dad rented a cottage in Ephraim for the week and it will be so fun to ride our bikes, swim, bbq, eat ice cream and laugh till we fall over.  Life is an amazing journey for sure and as one of my dear friends reminded me the other day, the journey is the part to remember...and sometimes it is hard to sit within the journey and not feel like you are going the wrong way or not trusting...but the journey often is not clear until you have fully committed to it and have a chance to look back on your path for a bit and see where you have been led and why.  I think each of our journeys is so perfectly planned out that we can't possibly imagine it and my thought is, each time you doubt or question, you fall off that path into the brambles and thorns or onto a path that "feels" right, but in the end, if you are really paying attention, you always make it back to the main path....funny, because those side trips are still part of the journey, but they are the small streams and tributaries of your great river on which your life is flowing, and ultimately that river leads to the matter what....and generally, it is much more enjoyable to float.....

May your journeys be full of large trees and mud and twigs and flowers and brambles...just don't forget to lie on your back and look up and relax.

Love and Understanding

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Beach

There is a beach in Mexico that is very small and guarded by two dogs and a yellow house...The rocks around this beach are round and black and made of a pumice of some sort and when you walk across them, they take care of the bottom of your feet and make sure you don't have any dead skin left.  The sand is warm and a tinge of yellow and the water is a strong Pacific blue with a white creamy froth that whips around in the wind and spray and the occasional large wave will push further in than expected.  The weather is perfectly humid and hot and the sand sticks to your legs from the constant sweat and a beer always tastes good.  This beach is still there, and will always be there, constantly changing with the tides and the wind, and the storms and the world.  The crabs running and scurrying over the rocks will go about their daily routines and the birds will hunt and the dogs will bark.  This beach will forever be in my memory as the beach of real life and first steps and of happiness.  I have always intended this blog to be my innermost thoughts but also not quite the public place to share all things, so there are some of you who know what this beach symbolizes and some who don't and I find that comforting....for life is sometimes about keeping sacred things sacred and not making them to common.  Let's just say that life is beautiful and amazing and bigger than I can imagine.

Love and Understanding.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Politics and things i read this morning that Clinton will most likely be conceding to Obama...I think that is fine and as this whole thing unfolds I can only wonder what the American people will do with this opportunity.  I am not very political and nor do I pretend to understand all the issues, items, concerns etc, but I do know that this next election will be a part of history that I get to live through and I do feel somewhat eager to see something totally different and new happen.  I think that the climate of our world today needs to see some drastic things change...quickly.  I am not a doomsday kind of guy, but lately it seems like there are so many things pointing to "us" as the only thing left to really make a stand and start making the way we think, act, create, plan and live.  I am not searching to become a tree hugger or a vegan or a left wing anything...but I am feeling like the things going on around us each day are pointing to the way of the Romans...barbarian hoardes, Circus Maximus, gluttons and careless consumption, you name it, I think we all need to take a step back and for a moment think about the little things we can do to make a difference.  I for one, know I can make a difference in the gas situation by not driving much these days which obviously helps the environment...what a great excuse to try something different and NOT drive....I feel for you guys in LA, but guess what,   the weather there is pretty nice and I'll bet you could find a way to commute a few times by bike in a week...try it..don't puss out.  Don't make excuses.  Do it.

I think humans are getting way to soft, too scared, too concerned about things that really become excuses to not be responsible for ourselves.  You know the old cliche.."when I was a kid I walked both ways uphill and didn't have legs."  I think now more than ever, it is becoming apparent that we are used to everything being easy and safe and not taking our own responsibility for things.  Now, I am not a parent yet, but sometimes I can't believe how goddamn scared parents are around their kids...for chrissake, cut it out....stop scaring the crap out of your children over the small little things in life that we all did as kids...stop treating them like retards and give them some credit for being smarter than we think because someday they will be responsible for the planet and if they don't learn how to take care of themselves, how the F will they take care of bigger things...remember my blog about being big kids and the class president??? Obama is a big kid now, and McCain is a big old kid (who in my opinion should be given a fitness test to become President), point being, how did they grow up?  Do we really know all of the people around them and for them and with them?  Are they kids that had shitty childhoods with something to prove?  Are they well rounded?  Did they have rounded and full childhoods?  Are they sensitive and thoughtful? Does it even matter?  Do they still laugh and cry and think outside the box?  ok..ok...I know...i sound like a big kid complaining possibly, but it dawned on me today while reading the newspaper that Clinton and Obama are at the end of the race and by stepping down she is "helping" maintain the strength of the Democratic party...good for her...why don't they all figure out how to get together and make it stronger than ever...right now...Republicans be damned...I mean all of them...before we are F'd in the A regardless of being a Dem or a Rep.  Who gives a shit....Just make it right.

I for one have no political preference these days other than trying to hear it and understand it and make a choice based on the right things to do...of course, my view of right is different than yours and theirs and that is a good thing...but I think we could all agree that the price of gas is the least of our worries...

Ride a bike and think about it.

Love and Understanding

Monday, June 2, 2008


DSC_0258, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

each morning I awake and the first thing I think is...what will i write about today??? sometimes it comes to me in my sleep, sometimes right when I wake up and as I am walking to the computer...and sometimes this morning...I think i am too self absorbed in not feeling well and wishing i felt better. The reality is, I need to tap into my being at this moment and write what is important to me this goes.......(sip of coffee)...........(listening to the sound the dryer makes when the zippers on a pair of pants hit the side and clang clang clang).....(another sip of coffee).....WOW!
they are testing the flood warning system here in Boulder which sounds like a big air raid siren and it is very eerie...there are probably 10 different sirens with different pitches and volumes going off right now...very very strange sounding....I guess if there is a flood we'd know about it, which I sometimes find myself thinking about as I walk by our little creek outside...I think there is a good 4 feet before it would actually flood the house, but I suppose that could happen pretty quick...the water level right now is higher than I have seen it, almost to the top of the soil and rushing fairly quickly. I have heard that a large part of Boulder is in a flood plain that would come mostly from the dam up in Nederland, which, if it ever cracked, would not be a pretty sight...there is a HUGE lake up there, 18 miles up, that would come rushing down Boulder Canyon and probably wipe out a good portion of central downtown...I think....or at least cause significant damage..
(back to my thoughts)
(I have alot of white chest hairs these days...I have a pretty good farmers tan too from riding my bike a ton...)
(damn...i left my keys at my bartending gig on Sat night...i need to go and get them so I can get my mail)
(i need to stop biting my nails)
(i think I'll get a haircut today...clean it up a bit and buy some more product)
(i am so metro sometimes)
(just because I am clean and organized and like to look nice...why do we suddenly get labeled as Metro??)
(I had a woman at a bar a few weeks ago ask me if I was a model or gay.)
(i am not gay...for sure...not that there is anytyhing wrong with that...and I suppose I could have been a model..maybe i still will be..)
(Riding Giants was an amazing film...I love to surf.)
(I am going to be in Mexico on Wed for 5 days...Life won't be the same after that...I am sure.)
(does getting a base tan at a salon make me metro?)

ok...ok...this morning is not my most productive with writing, but I guess i am still writing...putting words down...making myself chuckle and laugh a bit...our minds are so filled with random and silly thoughts and it is sometimes so hard to quiet them and be silent in those moments...I think i'll go finish my book now...i have read the most books in the last month than I have in a long time...

love and understanding

Sunday, June 1, 2008

June 1

DSC_0437, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

Today is the anniversary of the last play i did in LA at City Garage...amazing how fast a year goes, yet how slow it seems at the same time...Today i was mostly sick to my stomach...feeling a bit of food poisoning perhaps or not enough water maybe....I don't have a whole lot of energy, so i just watched Wings of Desire...a film about guardian angels. It is a very interesting and different film and takes place in Berlin and if you haven't seen it I would say rent it for a different experience, unlike most you have had in the cinema. Really an interesting piece of film.

I want pizza.

love and understanding.