Monday, March 23, 2009

birthday...

so here it is...my birthday has come and gone...again..what a year.  I can't help but reflect on how many things changed this year and how incredible it has all been.  I will admit that for some reason, this birthday was a it harder than previous, but only because I let it get to me a bit..the age thing...not the fact that I am getting older, just how i can't believe that I am actually 37.  that just seems weird.  it seems surreal...anyway, I am...so there...my life is blessed with so many amazing people.  My family, My wife to be, my friends, my art, my health...it is all part of the package.  Thank you...everyone that came to my party, everyone that wrote me, everyone that called, everyone that thought of me...I was really reminded of how many friends i have and how awesome that is...

ok..so here is an amazing piece of writing from my mom written for my birthday...i think you'll enjoy it...thanks mom..i love you!  It is 37 years ago and about 6:45am on March 22nd 1972 in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. In a delivery room,overlooking Lake Michigan, I am entering the
home stretch of birthing your father's and my first child.
We don't know then but in exactly 2 hours and 45 minutes you will alight
into the world.
Dr Azcueta (the Phillipino "trained in the bush" doctor) is thrilled with my
progress and my fully natural childbirthing experience. She is all smiles,
loving, gentle and wise. She inquires if she might bring in 9 student
nurses whom she is training for assisting in birthing. She wants them to
experience, first hand, what Natural Childbirthing looks and sounds like. At
the time, the Lamaze Method was just beginning to be utilized in the
American women's world of natural labor.

I seem to be effortlessly riding the tumultuous waves of contractions;
pant-blowing to beat the band. I am young, healthy, strong and noticeably
exhilarated with the whole experience. I am deeply in love with your father
and begin to see signs of his nervousness...I don't know until later that he
is beginning to be very nervous that his years of doing LSD has him
terrified that you might have four legs and seven fingers on each hand when
you finally break the waves and beautifully surface into our lives.

At 8:45am, I will enter the 'pushing phase' of labor. With each contraction,
I am to pull myself up, hold my breath and push will all my maternal might.
With her 'native guidance' I begin the final phase of guiding you into a
sunny Spring morning of the rest of your life. With each push, I rise up to
see 9 wide-eyed nurses faces; each smiling and in their own way marveling at
the miracle of your eminent arrival. They cheer and beseech my unwavering
stamina (as only the female tribe can) with each full-hearted push I expend.

At exactly 9:30am you slip out of heaven and into the earth world of
mysterious lights and sounds and untold adventures of the whole of your new
and "old soul" precious existence.

Your father and I weep tears of unfathomable joy (as do all 9 nurses) when
the doctor places you on my stomach. And, no, you do not have four legs and
seven fingers on each hand. To your father's relief, you are a blue-eyed
7lb, 16oz light-haired and fuzzy headed bundle of miraculous perfection. We
have a son (the first born, a male, which in the Italian tradition portends
a very good omen). You, the 'temple treasure' of children, have taken your
first breath (without the unnecessary slap on the butt) and begin the
sojourn of delights, the journey of a thousand expressive faces and
feelings. You are cradled and nursed 'on-demand' and spared the unnatural
experience of having to lay in a communal nursery apart from your mother. Dr
Azcueta sees to it that you are allowed to stay with me from morning and
through the night, an unheard of practice in hospital protocols in that day
and age. Grace and mercy are your middle names and follow you well into your
37th year.

Today, I wish you more of the same as you venture into untold and yet to
come mysteries and magic, as you greet the day of beginning another soulfull
year of your blessing all that know and love you.

Dip your oars into the riverboat of Life and sail, sail on with reckless
abandon into a life still awaiting your untold arrivals into uncharted
waters of Love and Light, Joy and Sorrow. Rest assured, that whatever your
Fate, a host of angels and your family and friends will follow along side
you.

Monday, March 16, 2009

choices


outcast, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

there are so many things to choose from...i am reminded of this while working on the final cuts for this photo show, but it reminds me of the same thing in life...really a good problem to have on some accounts, although there are times when I wished I could just be one thing...you know, like the kid who wants to be a doctor and thats it...then when I think of that truly, it bores me...my whole life doing just one thing? ok, so this means what is our life outside of what we do...the things we also love to do that give us that great feeling on a Sunday of "What do i get to do today??" having the ability and choices to do many things that all give you enjoyment...

that is the process i am going through with the pictures...deciding which pictures give me the most enjoyment and not getting too caught up in which ones are the most popular etc...i am trying to choose for myself first and let things occur. Of course this has been a huge learning curve...realizing that my initial vision of shooting and staying small is only one facet of the photos. So, for some, i have not been able to go as big as I would have liked, but that is ok, because it is forcing me to be creative in other ways...

I have great respect for those artists who are constantly showing their work with clear vision and statements. I am struggling with that myself and as it goes, it gets a bit clearer, but then I think of something else i could do and then I get all turned around...i think staying open to the experimental aspect of this process is the key. Don't count anything or any idea out...be open to all pieces....

and so it goes.

Love and Understanding.

Friday, March 13, 2009

working


weathered, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

i realized yesterday whilst eating a plate of stir fry garlic pepper chicken at the local thai joint with my mom, that art takes a long time. it isn't something that just happens and boom there it is and you are done. it has to simmer and bubble and burst and sometimes fall completely flat. I had a moment of realization that for me, writing and photography are my staple and have been for sometime now. Writing more so than anything, but photography for almost 10 years now. I didn't realize that during that time I was working and practicing and honing my styles...so that now, in life, if I am not careful, i perceive this motion as sudden, but it is not. At the cost of many hours and mostly for reasons of selfish enjoyment have I created...it is only now at this stage that the life of my work is being awakened and seen by others, only because it has been allowed to do so. A feeling of readiness to now open up and explore in front of others and share with them what I love to do.

I received an email the other day to do another show here in Boulder at the public library...of course my initial reaction was one of surprise and novelty, but as I thought more and more, the meaning of this is full of promise...it is the recognition that all this time spent creating in secret is actually coming to fruition and the act of giving it to others is the true meaning of creating. Obviously, the many incredible working artists that read this blog (thank you) know this and are doing it each day, it just took me a while to learn it for myself....

a slow purposeful creative intent through life is the power of creating the perceived instant talent of art and life....how many times we see it in Hollywood, the art world, with writers etc...as if they just appeared out of no where...no...they just matured and were finally noticed by there peers....


love and understanding.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Little man


Little man, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

ahhh spring cleaning...and the time change...quite possibly my favorite moment of the year....i think this day of all seems to be the longest and brightest...love it...so, happy spring...almost, but sure seems close these days...warm and sunny and time to spend time in the sun.

hope your weekend was amazing.

love and understanding.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

stream


barbed wire, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

the stream is running again! the one next to our house! I noticed it late last night when i got home from work, and by my memory that is about a month early compared to last year...it is full and muddy and deep, but adds such a huge element to life here...it makes things feel like they are moving forward and creates a feeling of more privacy. The weather here has been amazing the past few days...not unlike early summer...i think it will change this weekend, but it is a teaser for the warm times to come. i am noticing the buds starting to pop and the change in the light and of course, with the time change fast approaching, winter is virtually done...I am excited to see spring and summer again and basque in the warmth and do different things each day that are summer activities...i think that is what is so great about living somewhere with seasons...you really look forward to the seasonal activities and that makes them more fun and important to relish each time.

Yesterday i had my meeting for the photo show, and as luck would have it, the other photographer dropped out so i now have a solo show! this is amazing as it gives me an opportunity to bring more work and create a really strong presence for the first time. I am a bit overwhelmed and nervous still and needing to buckle down for the home stretch, but excited and confident that it will be amazing...

For you locals, the show is on April 9th at McGuckins Design center here in Boulder from 5pm - 7pm. the work will then be up for 3 months after! If you can make it anytime during those months or to the opening it would be awesome.

Now i am off to the photo lab...work to be done...

Love and Understanding.

Monday, March 2, 2009

every day


stool, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

March 2? I don't even really feel like we had that much of a winter here. It is almost 60 today already at 9:20 am and yesterday i was teaching up at the mountain...crazy. The weekend seemed to fly by and i find myself here on Monday morning gearing up for the week. I meet with the owner of the store on Wed in which I will be hanging my photos in April for 3 months and it is fun to think that i get to create a show. Something that is a real unknown for me. I find myself getting more nervous than having to be on stage...more vulnerable. I am trying to let go of all the things i am worried about and just show up and be open to ideas and thoughts about the show. Of course I would love to sell a ton of work there, but primarily I feel that it is important to invite the idea of getting noticed and more work coming from it. I believe in myself, but there is an unknown with things like this...am i really a photographer? Will people look at these photos and just sort of think...well, they are good, but I wouldn't hang them up in my house...you know, basic artist insecurities, but in the very end, it doesn't really matter...because when I look at them, I see my own magic and ability to give a gift of seeing things that others can't don't or won't....i have been charged with that assignment in life and no matter what anyone else says or does, they are mine, and they make me happy. so there....i suppose i share this as a self affirmation for myself, but really, i think this is the part we all share during our every day belief in ourselves and in our creations...be it music, painting, photos, writing, talking, acting, singing, running...does it give us joy?

a quick update for those of you wondering...and to keep myself honest...i am half way officially with the writing of my book...a journey in itself that is constantly challenging what is right...the belief that we are doing it for ourselves first and foremost and if others see it and are spoken too, then great, but remembering that the goal is not to write for others...at least I don't believe so...being true to our own muses and moments and thinking...just like talking to a child..they know when you are not being real...they just sense it.

I again spent the day with a young child on skis yesterday and I have truly grown to love the time i get with them. they take away all of the world we know and infuse us with a world of wonder, and passion, and they believe in the moment of right now...He is 8 and I actually had a 4 hour conversation with him about his passion in life, which happens to be electronics and video games...and opening up a space for him to talk about it was like listening to a genius discuss his new theory of evolution....and I found myself transfixed at how incredibly smart he was and how much he believed in it....his conviction and passion. It gave me the opportunity to be a part of his moment...i was there to simply ski with him while he imagined himself in another world....it made me remember that our passions are the things of a child and by embracing them we will forever expand in the mind of a new and fascinating world that we live in.

Getting older is simply the understanding that we really now alot less than we think and that by listening to those around us we become sponges of wonder and grow into the roots that we were born with....

love and understanding.