Friday, May 28, 2010

Bike Riding, Summer and the Unknown

Today is May 28 and summer seems to be here...a day or two early.  Yesterday I rode my bike in the weather that I love so hot hot and it made me happy.  Bike riding for me has always been a time of thought and meditation and during those rides I have usually come up with ideas, solutions, or faced fears that seem too big on the surface for me to deal with.  Right now in life I am faced with all three...some fears, some solutions, and some ideas but the progress in my mind is slow going.  There is a vast unknown aspect of life these days that is not unlike being in the Space Shuttle and drifting gently and quietly in space while looking deep into the universe knowing that there is more out there, but not being sure how to get there.  A sense of knowledge from the past and hindsight that will help with the coming future...but also the feeling of silence, the kind that one might feel on a small boat in the ocean in the middle of the night...a great journey is taking place, but at times, that journey does not come easy and will not give up its intentions of direction or winds that blow.  There is a similar feeling for me that i had when I first began writing this blog in is the feeling of getting ready to launch and taking the time before to rest, eat, think and train for the mission at hand.  My life seems like a series of these missions, which i am thankful for.  They often occur with blinding speed and force and after each one, i realize how intense they were and how much was accomplished and only then can i reflect on the journey.  I think what I am trying to say is, life is like a series space missions...and in between we need to reflect, rest, recover and train for the next one...and never forget what we learned on the last one so each trip is more meaningful and safe and focused...but also fun.  So for now...all systems are a go, but the launch pad is quiet for a bit longer...

Love and Understanding

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Snow Days

it has been a long winter...this peak still has snow on May 21 and although the day was warm, it was super windy.  It seems that even the weather these days is having some angst and some confusion.  So that makes me feel better since I am not the only one.  As of late, there is a general feeling of overall floating, which can be nice sometimes, but can also feel precarious due to its relaxed nature that brings upon a feeling of not being able to swim, or at least not wanting to.  I think it is important to have these times of floating and relaxing, but for some reason I always find it to be a huge challenge.  I get nervous and restless and sometimes depressed for small reasons, but the truth is, I am detoxing from the past few months of too much work and not enough relaxing my challenge becomes, what do I do with all this time.

Good question.  Its not that I am being lazy and doing nothing, it just feels like at the moment, i have no particular direction.  I can think of many times in life that this feeling comes up and as I trust the motion, things come my way and I am open to the new experiences..sort of a life meditation.

As life brings its changes and challenges, meeting them head on can be hard work sometimes.  This work must be done though and by being aware of it, the forces will stay in line and become part of the daily process.  I asked myself last night what kind of goals i had set and realized that as of late, not least not many that were specific enough to bring me forward.  Of course I meet little goals each day which is fun, but I am talking about a larger goal...and that is my challenge right now.  I am searching for the goal that will carry me forward and propel me up.  Not unlike this picture, where from far away, the mountain looms, but if I made a goal to go over it, I would simply need to go forward.  So that is what I will continue to do....Go Forward.

Love and Understanding