Sunday, September 28, 2008

Failure to communicate..

one of my all time favorite movies...Cool Hand Luke....I guess this is bound to start happening in our generation...great iconic actors passing away.  I think screen actors really make it clear that we are not going to last forever as we watch them age on screen and eventually pass on...sort of an end to the belief that they will always be there.  Paul Newman.  

When I heard this news the other night, I was surprised...i think because it just seems surreal.  And then I is going to be a large portion of that generation of great actors that will pass on sooner than later.  Redford is up there, Nicholson and others....because we spend time watching them grow over the years, they become token family members to a small extent and their passing seems to create a void in the world.  

Yet another small reminder that we must work hard at embracing our own families and friends and look at our relatively short time in this life....more reason to have compassion and to be good human beings and to not waste time in the trivial matters of things that are not important in the end.  

Paul Newman....your movies will always be classic and your popcorn will always pop.  thank you for your beliefs in your own talent and your efforts to always be a good human being.

love and understanding

Saturday, September 27, 2008

bad apples

bad apples, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

i am horrible, but i need to talk politics again...ok...last night, during the italian feast at my mom's art studio/bilbo hut/cozy home, we feasted on angel hair pasta with an incredible shrimp, mushroom, tomatoe, sauted in olive oil and garlic sauce...yum...among olives and cheese and good things...and we decided, as good americans, to watch the debates.

I am glad we did. I must make a few comments...

Is Mr. McCain a T Rex? I mean, what the heck...he can't bring his arms up above his head and he looks and sounds ridiculous...ok, i understand they are war injuries and for that i am sorry and such, but still, i can't watch that guy speak and then his barbi doll wife gets up there and looks like her knees will bend backwards...i mean come on...can we please just take a moment....

and unfortunately, i think Barack needed to grow some balls last night and take charge a is so obvious that he is well spoken and polite and refined compared to the old T Rex, but being president also means kicking some ass...i do want a bit of that Barack, kick some old ass...i mean, i think they should have a strong man competition for the rest of this know..who can lift a 5 pound note above their head and run faster in a circle...or maybe, who can spank the fist lady harder...
or maybe, shoot a game of HORSE...or run a down and out pattern, or
gee...i don't know, maybe just a down n out UFC fight...kick the crap out of each other.

i kid, but really, when I watched them up there speaking and going on and accusing and acting like 12 grade students, i had the thought that again, are we really watching this in this day and age??? Is this what our country boils down to? Is it really that difficult?

I still know who i will vote for, but I can say at this time, i am not totally impresses about anything these days...yes, i think there is hope and yes i think we can change, and yes, i think that old men who can't put their arms above their head have feelings too...but come on already...
Do we really have time?

My mom and i laughed and guffawed and got angry and were surprised...but in the end, we ate our wonderful meal and felt ok for another night in the kingdom of the new world...

10 billion dollars a month in Iraq, 700 billion to bail us out, how many trillion in debt to China, i don't know, sounds to me like we might have a problem getting another loan....

hope you like potatoes

love and understanding.

Friday, September 26, 2008

kick me

kick me, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

i really don't have much to say is friday i suppose, which these days, is great. So much to do, so little time. I've always found that the days off are a challenge from balancing relaxtion and doing the things we want, or need to do. However, lately, i have found that doing the things I want has been easier...maybe because during the week I have tried to balance post work activities with a bit more know, to unwind and chill out and not feel guilty about doing nothing. that feeling of, i should be doing things...or i need to get that done....being an adult, i can do whatever I want so there.

I think this goes in cycles...depending on our current work load or life situations, we tend to give ourselves more space for relaxing or giving persmission to drink maybe one more beer than usual on a tuesday night...(usually only one...but sometimes two right?) which is so funny still here in Boulder...i am a light weight..after two beers i can't seem to get it together. It must be the thinner air, but then again, it wasn't like i used to pound a 6 pack each night. I am just a lightweight and proud of it. (cheap date.)

now happy hour...that is a time to enjoy as of late...the days here are still warm and at 6 you can find a spot in the sun and enjoy half off goodies and a beer...before the snow sets in...tonight i get to go to my mom's for an italian feast which is the best happy hour of all...can't wait...

so...have a great happy hour today if you can, and if not, have a happy weekend.

love and understanding.

Thursday, September 25, 2008


think about it, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

so i was reading the newspaper today and i saw that mr. george W-ya is warning of a recession...ummm...gee, ya think? i don't know these days...i sometimes just think that we are about to go the way of the Romans. I mean, Circus Maximus style. Let's see...we are apparantly nearing "DEFCONOMY 1", which is basically the Great Depression, job rates are down something like 17%, housing markets are tanking...i can't get a loan with a damn good credit score, gas sucks, food costs an arm and a leg, the financial industry as we know it is gone..changed for good, our new presidential nominees can't see there way out of paperbags as far as i am concerned anymore...what the (*&%*&^%$ kind of campaigns are they running anyway these days and who the hell cares about Sarah (*&^(*^face Palin...ok, i did like Tina Fey on SNL....point being is this...

wake up people...wake the F up and start figuring things out cause we ain't gonna make it at this rate...Rome fell and Greece and...well, you know...nothing lasts i say,


no for me.



i mean...


love and understanding

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


rip, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

it seems that the world is going at a pretty fast pace these days. Like there isn't enough time for anything simple anymore. Last night was really windy in Boulder and the feeling of fall is for sure taking minute you walk by a tree and the leaves are green and the next time you see them, they are turning with the i started thinking how fast time just slips by sometimes. I can't believe i will have lived in Boulder for almost a year...I listened to the wind last night and felt really cozy in our bed and fell asleep to the sound of the leaves that are still on the trees. Right now the weather is still warm enough to enjoy it and walk around in shorts and flip flops, but i know that in a mere matter of weeks...well, i'll have an excuse to make cozy fires and drink warm drinks, and wear long underwear, and wear scarves and hats and boots and all the fun things that winter brings.

so there you have it. random musings for the day...don't forget to look at the leaves and watch them change...

love and understanding

Saturday, September 20, 2008


barrel, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

it is great to realize your own wisdom. To understand your own patience and process, and to begin giving to yourself, the things that you deserve and want. Like a partner that loves you no matter what, or a home that feels like a safe haven, or a day off when you deserve know, things that we forget to sometimes think about.

Ok, so how do we entertain the idea of being wise? Of actually having the nerve to say that...i had a reaction just typing it..thinking, how could i say that and not sound like a pompous ass? see??

well, there it is...trying to give ourselves the credit we deserve is always met with opposition and tough voices telling us to not be selfish, or good or powerful, or smart. I think all of us could use a little time on the "me" wagon. Me me me me...because I think that will ultimately give us more time on the "us" wagon...the one that we can ride with others and feel really good about our space in the wagon.
(jeez, I sure have some funny analogies this week...crumbs, wagons..what is next? How about relating everything to movies and saying things like.."Dude, its just like Batman"...which i actually said to someone last night.)

So, riding in our own wagon and enjoying it for what it has already, not looking around trying to ride in someone else's wagon because it looks nicer or seems better...chances are, they are looking at our wagon and wondering if they could hitch a ride. We are so busy comparing and looking at other people's lives and trying to make sense of ours within theirs, that we forget to take time and look at ours...i mean, really walking around with the strength and knowledge of being a great human being, not from a standpoint of being better or smarter, just from the standpoint of recognizing our own kick ass, powerful light. Like Batman....sort of...except don't wear the suit and hunt bad guys...i mean, like, once you put that suit on, you are a superhero...because you believe you are.

If you look at people that you admire for their success or passions, i'll bet that in some instances they are almost...well, seemingly, conceded a bit, or full of themselves, on the surface, but if you take a second look, I'll bet they are (of course not in all cases) their own superhero...they get up and nothing can deter them from their own path that day and they just simply believe who they are and what they are capable of...

I venture into dangerous spiritual awakening territory here again by saying that I firmly believe in manifesting our lives...but I can't help it. I believe that we adjust our viewfinders on a daily basis and see what we want and receive what we I say, open it up to possibilities that you deserve and want and view the world from a powerful perspective of understanding, listening and compassion...

and let me know if you master that as I could always use more help myself....

i am heading out'll know its me, because I am in my batman suit.

Love and understanding.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


poles, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most, of the time

lyrics to one of my favorite Damien Rice songs....i was on a bike ride (i know, so many of my blog entries start with this, but hey, that is when i do some of my best thinking) i was on a ride the other day and it was around 6 pm and the light was amazing out and the temperature was around 75 degrees or so and perfect. I was riding on a road that travels south along the mountains, but far enough away that you can see the vastness of their expanse. The smell in the air is changing day by day and the light too and as I pedaled along and looked to my right, the mountains were purple and blue and extravagant....and I had this moment of feeling small but very alive with purpose and cause...for all i had done that day, and all i had left to do in my life and the simple act of moving in the world and breathing it all in. It was one of those moments that you don't want to forget, one of perfect contentment and awe. I think it may have had something to do with entering my photos into an art show that will be chosen hopefully to be hung up in Boulder somewhere. It was the feeling of letting go and continuing on no matter what. So what if no one likes them or cares...i did it and that is all that matters and now I am on a bike ride....I think we have to remember to leave a trail of crumbs behind us all the time...big crumbs, but lots of them...different crumbs, but the kind of crumbs that people come across and can't believe they are your crumbs, because they never thought you ate all that different type of bread, and cheese and good things that they love too...and what would make us happier than eating great things and continuing forward in our world knowing that someone is enjoying our crumbs.

so maybe that is what i felt the other day....i left some damn fine crumbs and those who choose to find them will be better for it, and what do I care if they aren't found...i am adventuring in the forest eating and laughing and taking pictures.

Leave good crumbs.

Love and understanding.

Friday, September 12, 2008

my start

CEMENTBAGWALL.JPG, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

After reading Art and Fear, I started realizing that my photography has taken me on quite a journey..if i remember correctly, this shot is really one of the very first shots I looked at and said to myself, "that is a cool photo". That was back in 2000 or so when I was working as a jobsite supervisor in Los Angeles and I carried around a point and shoot camera to document the job progress, problems or anything else that might come up. I found myself wandering the job looking for odd setups that captured my eye. Things that you couldn't stage if you tried, but just showed up if you looked for them. In construction, it seems, there is a myriad of this type of thing if you are willing to walk around and look. Colors, geometric shapes and lines, garbage mixed with beauty, all sorts of things.

I have been thinking about my photography and the art I am creating and realizing that it has been culminated into this moment over the last 8 years of progressing from casual use of the camera to focused and purposeful art. In Art and Fear, it talks about simply creating and I love a particular analogy in the book that makes alot of sense for me and I think many others....

Something to this effect:
A ceramics teacher told his students that he was going to grade the class two group would be graded on quality and the other on quantity. So at the end of the semester, those with a ton of projects would most likely get an A etc., but those who were graded on quality had to, at least in their minds, create the one perfect what happened?

The quantity students began creating just to create and in doing so, began to flush out their style and purpose. They began to give their work a signature, a form a practiced and progressive art practice. On the other hand, the quality students had a very tough time getting anything made. They were so focused on having the "perfect" piece made, that they couldn't even begin. They had no thought of create to create, but only, how to create the one piece that will define them. Instead, at the end of the class, those who simply created, had the top scoring quality pieces because after 40 pieces they had honed their skills, and the quality student not only had a small body of work, but most of it wasn't very good at all.

So I go back for myself and realize that for the last 8 years, without knowing it, I have been having fun and simply taking pictures and i now have, what I feel, are about 25 or so, that are my signature way of taking pictures. Not to say that I don't have a ton to learn and still work on, but it has taken me that long to really realize my work and what it means...all through the process of just doing...Now, i can't say i have lived the rest of my life like that all the time, but it sure helps to look back at the things we love and are good at and see where they really they started, what did they look like back then?

I mean, really, i'll bet we all have something we do without thinking about it that comes naturally and easily to us...look at that and trace it back to the beginnings, no matter how simple or silly those beginning may seem. Chances are good that this "talent" has been fostered by just doing and not worrying about the outcome. No fear....

That is why we must always remember that kids are the best example of this and to foster them through that process as much as possible...and to remember that we are just big kids..and we should foster ourselves each day through it too. is to getting graded on quantity and fun.

Love and Understanding

Thursday, September 11, 2008

6 Degrees is on its way, as today I awoke (on my Sunday, due to work schedule) on a rainy day that reminds me that winter is not far off, of which I am excited.  This is Pearl Street mall last winter i snapped this from a one up or around...just quiet...

I am struck these days by the observation of others around me.  It seems that, truly, my close friends and family, are all going through some sort of awakening or experiencing difficulties that are causing them to think differently.  It is really amazing to watch and listen and learn.  I won't go into all of their plights, triumphs or details, but I will say, that maybe one of my friends was right...maybe the planets do align and draw things together...or maybe we just create that energy ourselves...besides, when Jupiter is doing something with Uranus, it just makes me feel...well, akward.  So, I like to think that we, as a collective mind and energy, are giving each other the push we need to move forward and up and out.  I feel that for sure...that I have been given that push by those around me to believe in myself and always expand out.  

Yesterday I was reminded of how small the world actually is when i got out of my car in the alley behind my house, and standing there was a friend of a friend from Santa Monica, who happens to work in the store behind my house...she had moved here form Santa Monica last year and is now living here with her boyfriend and loving life...and there we were, standing by the creek in Boulder Co...out of context, but totally connected by our experience.  The moment you believe that the world is not a small one, think again...and then think, who am I talking too?  Did I leave behind good things today?  Will people remember me for being a good human being?  Because, for sure, you will find yourself in that moment when you are face to face with a small degree of separation from someone or something you once knew...It is the feeling that makes me want to reach out and get in touch with those that I haven't spoken to in a long time..or those that I remember who really helped me or affected my life.  

So I think for today, I will drop some emails and make a few phone calls to some other amazing human beings...and find out how they are...just reconnect for a minute or let them know I am thinking of them...

be a good human being

Love and Understanding.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Winning Costuem

You are looking at the winning "PIMP" costume circa 1994 University of Oregon Theater "Dress like a Pimp" contest....yep...don't ask, just know that the glasses are from Japan, the gold is not real, and the fly shirt was quite possibly one of the best finds ever in a thrift shop...
why this? you say...why today?  I am not sure, but I think it has to do with the feeling i have at the moment of reckless creative abandon and freedom...something i used to feel all the time in my years of college during my theater cared?  we just did what we wanted, and I just happened to play the role of Pimp well, only from a standpoint of dressing like one mind you.  Ok, the pimp part really has nothing to do with any of this, i just thought it was a great reminder to dress up and have fun, which I have to constantly remind myself and others  to do...which makes me realize you ever find yourself giving brilliant and enlightened advice to those around you and then realize you are actually using them as a catalyst to talk to yourself?  I do that all the time, i mean, talk to myself through others. (i don't mean to say that my advice is brilliant) just the idea of remembering to talk to yourself if you have treat yourself as the precious being you are from an outside you would with your child perhaps, or a free spirit.  

I think recently, there is so much creative juice surrounding me that it is impossible to not have fun and create.  My mom is in her renaissance and going through an artistic rebirth...

 “The first road to Art is surrender, the second is Joy.”

the above is a direct quote from her most recent time in the Bilbo Hut that she has transformed into an art studio..which is the way we grew up..always things to color, paint, cut, draw, write etc...a catalyst for creation.  My dad too, always creating and playing and encouraging music and he too is in his musical renaissance, again playing his violin and moving towards creating his own quartet and playing for others to hear...and my sister who is creating her business of healing and giving which is amazing to watch...Swirly who, as we all know, has written an amazing book (through Sheer Bumblebee Willpower)...sweet...and Nita, working on her MFA and creating her vision each day through hard work and commitment...because really, that is what all of this takes...hard work and commitment...look at Gus...hard work and undying love for it...even when things seem bleak.

To all the artists:  take joy in the creative journey and don't worry about being perfect...just create and have fun...and believe.

Love and Understanding

Friday, September 5, 2008


Well, it is official...i have opened up my Etsy store and I am finally selling my photography...look to the right and you will see the link...I am just getting started so there will be more to come, but i thought you should now...enjoy!!!!

Thank you so much for your support and love.


Thursday, September 4, 2008


colored tools, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

I like this shot...these are brushes in Gus's studio that he uses and creates with..these days, things are so rushed and hurried and complicated it is cool to see a simple tool being used, nothing digital etc...anyway, today i feel like the first day of fall is upon us and I must say i am signifies change and i am ready to ski and hunker down in a cozy house with a fire and create...this really will be the first time I have ever lived anywhere with a season change leading into a snowy winter...of course i lived in Eugene Or., but that is for sure not the same as a winter in sucks actually...way to much rain etc. So, this time, I get to see the changes happening on the opposite side of the Spring spectrum. It isn't cold here yet, although the temp has dropped to the 60's and the air is a bit brisker and cleaner and when you breathe in it feels fresh. The light even seems different for some reason. The observation of a season. I think this winter will be a great one.

I am nearing the end of my first photo collection that has been matted and now I am pushing myself to work with Etsy and setting up the show...there are so many things to think about and do, and thankfully if have the guidance of Swirly to help me plan a bit. If you haven't purchased her new book already, please go to her blog and do so...this book is amazing and inspiring and not only wonderful to read, but great to give to others and spread around...and no, i don't get a cut of sales, i just think it is incredible and well worth it. Swirly has for sure set an amazing example for all of us artists out there...thanks!

I hope everyone takes a moment today to reflect on where they are, if they are happy, what the air smells like, and if you could do one thing today, what would it be...

If I could do one thing today, Nita and I would go on a bike tour in Tuscany for 3 weeks....make it so.

Love and Understanding

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


12736, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

today is a day that i woke up feeling pretty good about life. I feel like my feet were dangling a bit for a while and not quite touching the ground, but now days, they feel solid and supported with the every day existence of life. I was home over the weekend for Gus's birthday (36 years old woohoo!) and to of course visit my Dad, Swirly and Taylor, and squeeze as many others in as possible which was fun, but tiring sometimes. I also recorded an audio commentary for the Shiftling with the director Taegen Carter, which was a blast...put me back in touch with the great time we had making that film, and generally got to reconnect with my old life...but a funny thing was like re- entering the atmosphere after being in space...where things are slower and different and beautiful...yes...that is my analogy!!! finally, a good one for returning to LA...flying into the city at night and looking out over the vastness of the lights and crowded streets, it was totally overwhelming and I couldn't believe that I existed there for so long without totally losing my mind. I realized that I no longer fit in there, and during my stay i had a constant uneasy feeling of my surroundings...maybe because starting new has been so good and refreshing and returning to the old world was so full of memories, good and bad that it just didn't make sense anymore. Of course I miss my family and friends immensely and that part i would take back in a second, but LA...hmmmm...not feeling that is SOOOO different and having been in a new place now long enough to have perspective, i felt that I had come to the crossroads of life realizing that simplicity, quality of life, quietness, connections, kindness and being real means more to me than living in the fast lane...besides, LA is too crowded to have a fast lane anyway...eff'n traffic. I think i was scared that I wouldn't be able to let go of that world, but in returning, i can't see how I lived in that world before. Of course, I am not pretending to say that I am enlightened or better or not missing parts of that world, but for me, in my life now, LA is simply a strange planet, a land that I once new and now I enter it from the outside. Not unlike Tom Hanks returning from his island and discovering there is more to life than what he had...a stranger in a strange land. a crossroads that we stand on and walk a different path and in the end, we feel happy with our world and our choices...

I miss my family very much, and my friends who are dear to me....and I only hope I can see them more often, but not quite at the expense of my spirit being lost somewhere between the 405 and Venice beach in a sea of smog and palm trees blowing through the myriad of souls searching for their crossroads.

love and understanding.