Monday, July 30, 2012

The Daily Routine

What's next face?  check it out. it's my new look in the mornings...i am adjusting to a new schedule on all job, new rehearsals, new workouts, new ideas. it's all part of the plan i suppose, but i make that face's not really a specific face or expression and can be used for all sorts of expression, such as, "holy crap now what", or "i hope this shit works!",  or "ooohhh, i did not see that one coming." and so forth...funny how things tend to happen like dominoes, one after another and so it is that i am number one domino right now and its kinda fun, and kinda scary and kinda cool all rolled into one.  The challenge is maintaining all things that are important to me along the lines of creative, fun, relationship, and personal time...i guess that is the challenge for most, but these days it's new to me so i am continuing down the road of what's next?  i think i'll make that face at some point should too...

Love and Understanding.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Take a Step

Looking up in life has its rewards...stars, sky, clouds, birds, trees, jet streams...seeing the things that exist in a world above us is the metaphor for life that keeps us hopeful i think. I like looking up. I also like looking around and out and down. Try it. Stand in one spot and look in all directions and notice the difference in each direction. It's a bit like that great scene in Castaway with Tom Hanks near the end of the movie when we see him literally standing in the dirt intersection of four roads looking down each road and, although the roads all look similar, we know each are different and the not knowing is the scary part. The risk of seemingly taking the "wrong" road is huge, but there is no wrong road, there is only the road and that road takes you down the path you were meant to be on even though it seems like random chance or specific choice or guessing. The world has presented us yet with another chance to walk down our own road and to do it standing tall and strong and with a knowing that sometimes the roads will be hard and difficult, but in the end that road will teach us something through its twists and turns, and rough pavement, and oil slicks and two ton trucks coming the other way. Not unlike riding a motorcycle down a road with turns that present themselves in a way that is so perfectly planned yet so unknown and if you are in perfect stride and trim and rhythm you adapt to the terrain and the speed and the fear and doubt to get through one turn and onto the next turn with grace and a smile leaving behind a quiet triumph of the spirit and soul and a crowd of love and wonder and awe because you simply did it.  You simply showed up and travelled with the others on the same road for a small moment in time and you did all you could to be good and kind and loving, even on the days you would have killed a kitten or stomped a dove or driven off a didn't; and so your road took you up and away into the sky and mountains and trees, all of them caressing your fire and passion for the moment you turned left instead of right, and carried on and on with fierce love for all around you and most importantly for yourself...for your own spirit and sweet essence of life that gets you up in the morning without knowing exactly what the purpose may be or why, and takes you to a place every day of wonder and sadness and hope and despair, and gifts of the soul that may or may never be opened or realized, but they are there stored up in the eternal world of your own mind and heart. So get up and look around and listen to the quiet beat of the heart and then take a doesn't have to be a big step or a step in the "right" direction since we know there is no such thing. The mere act of taking a step is the perfectly designed momentum to move us through anything and that is the perfect design of life.  And that is the perfect moment. And that is the perfect direction. And that is the sweetest step you can take.

Love and Understanding.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Three Years of Joy

This is my wife. Her name is Nita, but I call her Tita Bella, Tita, Wife or Weef, depending on the moment.  Those are the bikes we rented in Calistoga for our five hour wine tasting tour to celebrate our 3 year anniversary. We love to ride bikes together. As a matter of fact the very first date we went on was on bikes five years ago right here in Santa Monica and not far from where we live now... some of the most amazing times we have spent together have been on our bikes.  Three years ago we rode our bikes on our honeymoon in Sonoma for five days over mountains and rivers, to the sea, and through the trees and up the hills and down them too. Two years ago we rode our bikes all over Colorado for 543 miles during Ride the Rockies where we rode up mountain passes of 11,500 feet and down them freezing our butts off, sleeping in tents and eating mexican food galore.  We have ridden countless miles together and I am willing to bet the miles would add up to crossing the united states together on two as you know, for me, that is a lucky thing since I have ridden my bike almost all my life and to think that I somehow managed to marry a woman who also loves to ride is beyond me.  Today is July 11 or 7-11...the day we were married three years ago in Kauai with all of our close friends and family together in the sand in a circle standing in awe at the love and support all around.  It's wild to think that was already three years ago!  Time has a funny way of just flying by and whenever we have a chance to just ride our bikes together like we did, it brings it all back to a simple moment of existence where two people find each other in this wildly complex and complicated life.

People often ask, "How is married life?", like it's a dangerous way to live or something...i am here to tell you its better than an African Safari.  Better than bacon wrapped dates.  Better than sledding.  Better than the 5th coffee of the day.  Better than wind in your hair. Better than a warm fire on a cold day. Better than brown sugar in oatmeal. Better than shaving your legs and then getting in fresh sheets. Better than Raging Waters. Better than Disneyland. Better than chocolate covered nuts. Better than cheeseburgers. Better than stand up comedy. Better than soap operas. Better than winning the lottery. Better than garlic and butter. Better than jumping rope. Better than being tan. Better than opening night.  Better than a sunrise. Better than a sunset. Better than ice cream.

As of today I have lived for 3 years with my wife, or 36 months, or 168 weeks, or 1095 days, or 26,280 hours, or 630,720 hours...but it seems like only the first bike ride....which to this day seemed like an eternity...I love you wife.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Sunflowers, Van Gogh and Hogwarts.

I got to visit my wife this weekend for our 3 year anniversary up in Sacramento, where she is attending an intensive month long program for her teaching certification at the Rudolph Steiner College. The picture above is of their biodynamic sustainable gardens right on campus and it was an incredible place.  I am amazed at the magical spirit of my wife and the wonder of her experience up there and for me it was so fun to share just a quick moment of time in a place that seriously reminded me of Hogwarts. You may think that is funny but its true! The Waldorf school to me is the magic that one would find only in books and since the imagination is fostered so incredibly it makes sense, but this was different. It was different because instead of a bunch of young kids running around, it was all the teachers who all seem a little like magic wizards, especially my wife since we all know she is a magical good witch. There is an energy of calm and caring up there that is quite amazing and after sitting quietly under a big friendly oak tree and staring off into the garden with beautiful sunflowers, I realized that I had to capture the moment I am sure Van Gogh would have painted.  He gravitated towards the simplicity of the outdoor gardens and life under trees and, as some of you know, my fascination with Van Gogh has always been one of great wonder and importance in my life. I found it interesting that at that very moment I was more content than I have been in a while, listening to the wind rustle the gentle leaves of the oak above me, hearing the birds sing and feeling the heat of the day even though I was in the shade.  It was all so perfectly quiet and gentle, and calming, and it was easy to just be. Something to remember for sure.

My wife's magical journey has been, and is amazing, to watch and as I get to play a small role in it I feel lucky to know that I am in the inner circle of magic. There are many things changing in my life and growing (as they should be), but remembering to quiet down for a moment and just listen to the world is something to not forget. I am again embarking on a path that will take me to places unseen and as I trust the process and journey I can't help but feel a little anxious of course. This is all part of life and giving into the moment and decision can sometimes take a while, but letting go of the control and trusting the process is when the magic takes over. The journey through the secret gardens is the stuff of magic and love and simplicity....

Love and Understanding.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Cage

i was having a discussion the other day about living in Los Angeles...having previously escaped the island i find myself often musing about the mountains and the open space, the slower pace, and the lack of traffic. I took the above picture while walking to work and it wasn't until later that i saw it for what it was...a cage of cages. Motorcycle riders call cars "cages" and the fence sums up the rest of the idea. The Rat Race is a common one that comes to mind and this picture sums that up a bit. i often ride or walk over this bridge and sigh with relief that i am not down there in the shark tank swimming in one direction, but it also reminds me that i am very close to it and living in this life trying to not fall in is for sure a challenge. Blade Runner comes to mind also. The darkness of the pic conjures up all sorts of depressing thoughts, not to say that i am necessarily depressed today, but it makes me a little sad i think to imagine that this is the world, or at least parts of it. Walking in it on paths that are not traveled by most can be scary and fun and full of doubt and insecurity and wonder. Remembering to stop and breathe for a moment is the key and making sure to get away from it all is a gift to give oneself each day. In this particular world model of cages and concrete and metal, we must remember to find the life and love otherwise we may forget it exists at all.

Love and Understanding