Friday, November 30, 2007
The PODS trailer is about to be delivered during a rainy Friday morning...quite fitting...I love the rain actually, but moving in the rain is kinda lame...oh well..As the hours tick down..kind of like a NASA space shuttle launch...you know, sitting on the pad and waiting for the weather to clear kind of thing...it all feels so surreal. My entire life will be delivered to our front curb in a box that I will then load into another box, and then drive to another place with...where I will then unload the box and set up with the few tangible things I have. Strange...but it reminds me that those are just things and the box is just a small metaphor for keeping our life simple and true...It is actually really nice to be simplified and mobile and not have placed a ton of importance on the material elements of what i have and don't have. At 35 one could easily try and define themselves by society's norms...do I own a house, have a wife, have kids, have a job etc...or, as a wise neighbor whom I met the other day said, "Don't let that shit define you as a man. Do what you want to do and make a life out of your own happiness, not what society defines." I have found that trying to listen lately to those around, especially the older generation, is full of profound simplicity and lessons that they are more than willing to dispense...we all do it when we look back at the different stages in our life and it is important to always listen to the ones who have gone before...Today begins the final leg of my journey as I sort out what I can take on the first trip as I will most likely not be able to fit everything in my tiny trailer on the first go around, which will give me an excuse to drive back and visit as soon as I find my new place to live in Boulder. This last leg is the hardest, because it is the departure that means it is real...no more lounging around at my dad's house living the life of Riley (who was that anyway?), no, this is the mission launch, the take off, the journey into the unknown...of which I am prepared for...yet it is still not an easy departure...I know it will be amazing all around and that life will be richer for it, but it feels like I am going into the wild...only, i won't starve and eat a poison potato root...I hear the POD truck....wish me luck!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
I finally got the camera I have been wanting for a while...a new Nikon D40...it was actually a gift from an amazing friend who supports my new desire to take pictures and I can't thank her enough for that...This whole thing got me thinking about things and it goes something like this....
As we go through life each day and people and places pass through us, it is of the uttmost importance to reflect on all things that have had an impact in our lives, be they big or small. It is easy to go through each day and not give a moment to imagine what life would be if we missed some of those moments:
My dad bought me a bike when I was 15...cycling has literally been a part of my blood since then and I owe it all to my dad...(just one of the thousand things my dad has given me, but that is a seperate post) My dad...my hero
My mom took the Motorcyle Safety Course with me when I was 16 years old..that has also been my life blood since then...thank you mom (also a separate post deserved) my mom, my goddess and protector
My sister has climbed over a wall once because i told her too..she never asked why...that is her love she has for me...thank you Taylor...you are my everloving and forgiving sister and for that I cannot thank you (also another post) my soul sibling...
My new stepmother (wierd huh?) Christine or Swirly as we know her, has become a part of this small but hugely dynamic family and done so in a way that is loving and giving and inspiring to my but mostly to my dad who deserves to be the happiest man I know..Thank you Swirly for being you (also a separate post) My friend
Gus, my undying friend since 2nd grade..i have known him most of my entire life and i think we have fought once..when we were in 3rd grade...I have driven countless miles with him and had countless adventures and he is the one driving with me to Boulder...again, escorting me and keeping me company in the way that only Gus can do..a true friend an, amazing artist...thank you Gus. My brother.
Sophia...my ex girlfriend, who has taught me how to be true and given me a gift of letting go because she loves me...i will always love you for being you...my monkey
I will stop now as I realize that this will go on forever...but here is the point...stopping to remember all those things that people have given is a little overwhelming and it makes me feel more alive and it becomes more important for me to live fully so that I can return that to them and not cheat myself out of the love and life i have been given.
I am leaving this place not out of disgust or bad feelings or boredom...i am leaving with the love of this place on my shoulders...the ocean i have lived in, the roads i have ridden, the houses that kept me safe, the hills i have climbed, the friends who are everywhere, the million little places around town that hold a moment in time for me, the bluffs, the palm trees, the santa ana winds, the smell of rain in los angeles, the traffic, the burritos, Main Street, Venice, the theater....on an on i could go...My life in Los Angeles is powerful and complete and perfect...i will of course miss it...all of it, but I am taking my leave fully with closure and release and an excitement to see what else is out there....if you are still reading this, well, thanks...for everything little word, thought and love you have for me and for everything around you....
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Today I bought my new trailer to haul my stuff...i have been hunting for the perfect trailer for some time now, weighing my options and learning about all the different trailers out there...who knew? It was much harder than i thought it would be to actually find one...here are some of the highlights to the search....Sean and I ( my friend who always provides male moral support as he is a firefighter and just seems to bring a stable presence to bare) have been looking for the best deal for a few days now...we finally think we have found one in Santa Clarita which is a good 40 minutes from LA...so, we get in my truck, money in hand and head out...like two girls we talk and laugh and joke and before we know it we are way past our exit...we call and it turns out we went the wrong way entirely..turning around we evenutally find our way back to the original place of sale...track house central in a windy burrough of Santa Clarita......Enter John...the seller, who has a haircut like Gomer Pile and seems,...well, somewhat normal until this...
"hey John, trailer looks good"
"Well, i can't believe this, but some guys broke into it last week and i just noticed...they broke the lock."
think to myself...ok...not such a big deal...i can fix that..I'll offer him $1800....
(John) "yeah...they stole my trampaline and some baby toys, but here is the worst part...(opens up the trailer) They stole the wood right off the walls...can you believe that? I don't know what they would want with all that wood."
Now, for those of you who have never seen the inside of one of these trailers...they are covered from head to toe in Luan, which is a thin wood veneer...it gives it rigidity and the opportunity to hang things etc and basically looks nice...this guy was basically selling a house with no drywall...he acted like he just figured this out and still had the nerve to try and sell me the trailer for around 2K when a new one costs around 2500...let's just say, we were not amused, and at that point i had to drive another 50 minutes to the place I had gone the day before where Lindsey, the stoned, ex porn star, actually ended up selling me a new trailer...Yes I am the proud owner of a new trailer with wood paneling and all...it is parked out front, hitched to my truck and ready to be loaded up with my belongings...it is to small to fit everything I have so I will have to return for motorcycles and furniture....but, all in all, it is mine and I am sure it will be fine....
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Since this is my first entry I will make it somewhat to the point. I have decided that I am going on a new journey. This journey is taking me away from my home in Los Angeles, where I have grown up almost my entire life and the next stop will be Boulder Co. I will go into more detail on the next post, but the following quote sums up my life and is always good to reflect on when looking at each one of our experiences...it is my most inspiring quote relevant to my immediate place in life....It comes from an interview I saw with Ray Bradbury, and simply said is this:
"Do what you love, and love what you do. DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AND LOVE WHAT YOU DO!...I want you to go to the edge of the cliff, jump off, and grow your wings on the way down. Don't worry about having the wings, they'll come."
And that is what I intend to do.....I am departing in 144 hours (approximately) but for now I will go ride my bike and smile and laugh and pedal....