Friday, December 21, 2012
Humans. Sheesh. We really know how to imagine that we actually know anything at all about what the world is going to do or how the universe is going to act or what is actually going to take place. Come on...really? You think we really have ANY idea? Ok yes, the glaciers are melting and there is a meteor out there somewhere passing very close to earth (something like 2 billion miles close) and the new Tsunami warning signs are up everywhere just in case and the ozone is failing, and super storms will ravage us more often than not now, and the internet will take over and the computers will destroy the humans...come on...really? Oh and the earthquakes...
Humans like to pretend they can predict and control, but haven't we learned that this is just not true?
What we can control is our interaction with each other and our own actions....let's just start there...let's start with getting up in the morning and taking responsibility for how we think, act, speak and play. Let's take responsibility for our fellow human beings....that we CAN control.
The Mayans were merely the most advanced society at the time who were simply trying to find a way to explain and control the destiny of the world and the people in it....ok...so I know this whole thing wasn't about the world ending, but of course, that is all you hear about. Maybe once again, the product of our media has completely squashed the meaning of life and sensationalized it into a summer movie with big explosions and therefore eclipsed the actual message of the movie...live for today and shift your love and energy and remember to be your most amazing self each day...because trust me, the world will end...some day...
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
I haven't actually written something longer than a quote in a while...partly because I was tired...tired of writing. The creative life that we lead has a way of choosing which forms take a rest for while and although i am aware of my actions in being on this blog on a daily basis if possible, the full writing exercise has been asleep and resting for a while. I awake now to write about a journey that i am on. One that has scared me and put me in a place of great emotion and challenge. For some it may seem trivial, but in this life we lead now of supreme convenience, ease, and loss of identity, purpose and intent, it is a journey that i must take, to live, to survive or maybe to just prove that i still can. That I can do it. That i can take the steps needed to accomplish a crazy goal that only i can accomplish and in doing so prove to myself that i am alive and full of passion and purpose and love.
I am running a marathon. For those of you who know me, you know that running has never been a favorite of mine and i can't without full purpose claim that it is now, but running has grown on me as each day presents a new triumph towards the peak of the mountain. In my life, i don't know if i have ever put forth a goal so specific and for me this is the most important lesson that i am striving to learn...that this goal is about the doing, about the daily journey, the small steps, the difficult moments, and the ultimate end result that drives us forward and, in the end, that result is merely the shining moment of all the work.
It is the analogy i need for my art and for my life to remember that each day is a training day. A day to contemplate and to take it in small strides and to breathe and be filled with an inner strength.
It has been 13 weeks of training. Halfway through a 26 week training schedule that has me running 4 times a week in small increments. So far the longest run I have completed is 6.2 miles in my first 10k ever and the run was, for me, something that i have never experienced. Amidst the 2200 people running around me, it was quiet except for my breathing and the sound of my feet. For runners out there i am sure this is not a new feeling but for me the surprising joy i felt when i ran and crossed the line has been missing in my life for some time as an athlete.
I now find myself thinking and dreaming about the marathon and when i do it is extremely emotional because i know that no one is going to run it for me. No one can train for me. No one can go through the potential suffering that will be endured. I know that each step i take now in the journey is one step closer to that goal, but i must remember that the marathon is not the goal. The goal is the journey, the run, the sweet sound of the ground beneath my feet.
I used to think runners were crazy especially marathon runners, but i am proved wrong and i have found an ultimate respect for the runners out there in every shape and size and I get it. I get it.
I am training alone. I don't run with a group yet. I run alone. Most have said it is harder to run alone so maybe that is why i do it, but i love it. I can't say that i won't run with others and enjoy it, but the aloneness is part of the journey for me. No distractions.
I don't want this to sound like i wrote it to brag. I am writing this to share my fear. To share my doubt. To share the terror i actually have of this huge looming day, which i know in the end will only be a day. A day that i will live through and cherish no matter what because the journey is the gift. To some this may seem petty, and i am aware that there are bigger things in life, but ultimately we all need this journey, however it presents itself in our lives. We must take the small steps and be happy with them and know that this journey makes us strong and in the end we are the only ones who can take the step.
I don't know why i met the man in the mountains who opened my eyes to the marathon. I don't know if he was an angel or a demon. I don't know if i am running away from them or to them, but i inherently feel that i am running with them.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."
Walk the path and cross the bridge out of the forest and into the light...it is waiting there for you with open arms.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
"How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment. We can start now, start slowly, changing the world. How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make a contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!"
as of late, this is so important to remember in a city like Los Angeles...a little kindness and consideration goes a long way....
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
"If you want trust, trust others. If you want respect, respect others. If you want help, help others. If you want love and peace in your life, give them away. If you want great friends, be one. That's how it works."
its true...for sure...i have the most amazing friends in the world...its an amazing two way street.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
"To enjoy the journey is to leap into people's lives. To enjoy the journey is to give until the stretch is a sacrifice. The question always is: what is it in life that will pull you out of your seat to be brave, risk and serve?
The daily struggle to stand up out of your seat and risk..to be brave...to serve...to live.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. ...Touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."
Trusting in our own ability to live a graceful life is the daily practice we must adhere to.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Showing up and shining your light is the simplest way to care about those around you.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
"To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself---means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight--and never stop fighting."
The trenches are deep and muddy and frightening, but the sky is still blue and beautiful...hold your ground.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
"You do build in darkness if you have faith. When the light returns you have made of yourself a fortress which is impregnable to certain kinds of trouble; you may even find yourself needed and sought by others as a beacon in their dark."
Remember that lighthouses come in all shapes and sizes.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
"In your life's journey, there will be excitement and fulfillment, boredom and routine, and even the occasional train wreck...But when you have picked a dream that is bigger than you personally, that truly reflects the ideals that you cherish, and that can positively affect others, then you will always have another reason for carrying on."
The fear of dreaming big and succeeding is the only thing stopping us....as my friend used to say...go big or go home.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
"What I do, you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful."
The small things I do are what matters...
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
"The most beautiful paintings and sculptures, the greatest poetry, have not always been born from torment or bitterness. Often they have sprung from contemplation, from joy, from an instinct or wonder toward all things. To create from joy, to create from wonder demands a continual discipline, a great compassion...With time and sincerity, you will discover a way to work and write that does not harm you spiritually, that does not tempt you to vanity, that is the deepest expression of your spirituality. You will find a voice that is not your voice only, but the voice of Reality itself...If you can be empty enough, that voice can speak through you. If you can be humble enough, that voice can inhabit you and use you.
In the end all the suffering and angst and despair must be outweighed by the compassion for oneself as an artist, writer, musician, creator and human being. Just when we thought art was all of the challenges of life...it is actually the moment in life when you are most alive and light and free....we just don't give ourselves the opportunity to be in that state often enough. The act of being humble and free is the moment of utmost creativity...we all have it in us...the voice....use it.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
"Despair is the only cure for illusion. Without despair we cannot transfer our allegiance to reality--it is a kind of mourning period for our fantasies. Some people do not survive this despair, but no major change within a person can occur without it."
Oh good...I thought I was the only one....
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
-Vincent van Gogh
I will remain an outsider...from here on out.
Friday, September 28, 2012
I hear voices all the time. Don't you?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tai was his name. He has lived through 3 wars, is a retired DA/lawyer and thinks religion is a farce. He believes in the good of man and living for yourself to care for others not believing what everyone else tells you to believe. He believes that running marathons is the best analogy for life and that if we could all just live in the moment of one foot in front of the other, the world would be a nicer place.
Tai was so real and passionate and full of life and he kept telling me that I should run a marathon, at first I thought, no way...but by the end I actually started to believe that he might be right...that maybe in this life the things we do in the most simplistic way are the things that really matter, like losing track of time in the middle of a day to talk to a person because you know you'll be talking to a Sage...We talked for over an hour in the hot dust and sun and by the end I couldn't wait to get home and start training for a marathon. I felt like I wanted to do it for him, but I realized he was just voicing my own words in this life...I realized I had met an older version of me, albeit a Japanese one...who has lived his life in a way that made him happy and healthy and real...not worried about money and status and what others think...
In the end I invited him to see a new Greek play I am in because that was what I could offer him and since he majored in philosophy it made sense. I felt that sharing my own passion with him was the least I could do, and his belief that Marlon Brando was and is the best actor of this century was encouraging since Brando was someone who made his own way...It was only then that we actually introduced ourselves and when he heard my last name he said that the best actors were always Italian. A fact that I had not been aware of, but probably true.
The last view I had of Tai, was him sitting peacefully on a bench that overlooked the mountains, his bare feet in the dust and his majestic aura invading the scrub brush around him. As I rode away on the motorcycle I felt I had just met someone who embodied what it was to take one step at a time in life and I was content to know that its always a good idea to stop in the dusty heat and wait to speak with a barefoot man.
Oh and yesterday I ran 3.5 miles and the whole time thought about Tai and marathons. I don't think I have ever felt so strong and swift while running....
Love and Understanding.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Love and Understanding
Friday, August 3, 2012
So my new job...its located in two large office buildings in a part of town that is fairly busy and bustling and i find that its hard to find a spot that is quiet and relaxing, however there is one which happens to be a very long and large Coy pond located between the two buildings...in it are probably 40 or 50 pretty big Coy and they are really amazing to see. I find myself walking next to the pond on my way in and any time that I am outside walking just to peak at them. When you get close they swim up and put there face out (do fish have faces?) and sort of make this big open mouth movement as if to say "hello!"
I called the above fish Flavius and we had a moment...its the moments like that where I feel a little out of place in this world, when everyone else is running by with their phones texting and not noticing the simple beauty. I am not saying i am better than others, I am just saying when i have a quiet reflective moment with Flavius, i am remembering that i beat to a different drum and being in the corporate world again makes it all the more evident that this needs to be fostered and supported. And so now i make a point to see Flavius and the others each time i come by. I am reminded to take it slow and notice things as I try and still take pictures of the simple moments around...like below, this was in a little restaurant yesterday and I just loved it...the old scale, the flowers...it was perfectly set and its those moments of secretly knowing that I can still see them that grounds me....especially now that I carry around two phones and wear a watch. Funny how things work. Well at least it's Friday and I get to have a weekend....Love and Understanding. J
Monday, July 30, 2012
What's next face? check it out. it's my new look in the mornings...i am adjusting to a new schedule on all fronts...new job, new rehearsals, new workouts, new ideas. it's all part of the plan i suppose, but i make that face alot...it's not really a specific face or expression and can be used for all sorts of expression, such as, "holy crap now what", or "i hope this shit works!", or "ooohhh, i did not see that one coming." and so forth...funny how things tend to happen like dominoes, one after another and so it is that i am number one domino right now and its kinda fun, and kinda scary and kinda cool all rolled into one. The challenge is maintaining all things that are important to me along the lines of creative, fun, relationship, and personal time...i guess that is the challenge for most, but these days it's new to me so i am continuing down the road of what's next? i think i'll make that face at some point today...you should too...
Love and Understanding.
Love and Understanding.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Love and Understanding.