Monday, November 16, 2009
The snow for sure does something to me. I am not sure yet what exactly, but it is not the same effect as rain or a cloudy cold day. I went walking for about 2 hours in it yesterday down by the lake near our house, and even managed to see a flock of geese (Gander?) heading south...well sort of. I stood on a bridge that arched between two bodies of steel grey water that reflected the white mountains to the west that were solid and quiet and softer with the snow. All the trees had been kissed by the white crystals and it was almost like another world.
Then I noticed the loud bang and thud and scrape and was reminded of the city plows at work further up the hill.
During this walk and time though, i was thinking of all things quiet and loud and how life can change so quickly....one day it is sunny and warm and the next it is 30 and snowy. Kind of like my brain and my world.
I have decided that being in a creative lull is somewhat difficult for me. I don't like being quiet and i have to work on it and trust that it is a time for rest...a down time. When I don't have anything planned I get restless and start to feel insufficient and sort of like a loser. But standing on the bridge in the snow helped me remember to take time and listen and look and enjoy the quiet. Don't rush the melt...because soon enough I'll be super busy again and I'll be on the other side wishing i had time to walk slowly in the snow and see my breath coming out in slow large clouds of warm air puffs.
I went to bed last night on that bridge. My thoughts were like the two bodies of water and I was standing over them calmly taking them in. The mountains were my struggles and the geese were my dreams. I slept soundly and awoke in the sunlit room feeling very rested. Today is Monday.
Love and Understanding