Thursday, November 29, 2007

Cameras and thoughts


I finally got the camera I have been wanting for a while...a new Nikon D40...it was actually a gift from an amazing friend who supports my new desire to take pictures and I can't thank her enough for that...This whole thing got me thinking about things and it goes something like this....
As we go through life each day and people and places pass through us, it is of the uttmost importance to reflect on all things that have had an impact in our lives, be they big or small.  It is easy to go through each day and not give a moment to imagine what life would be if we missed some of those moments:
My dad bought me a bike when I was 15...cycling has literally been a part of my blood since then and I owe it all to my dad...(just one of the thousand things my dad has given me, but that is a seperate post) My dad...my hero
My mom took the Motorcyle Safety Course with me when I was 16 years old..that has also been my life blood since then...thank you mom (also a separate post deserved) my mom, my goddess and protector
My sister has climbed over a wall once because i told her too..she never asked why...that is her love she has for me...thank you Taylor...you are my everloving and forgiving sister and for that I cannot thank you (also another post) my soul sibling...
My new stepmother (wierd huh?) Christine or Swirly as we know her, has become a part of this small but hugely dynamic family and done so in a way that is loving and giving and inspiring to my but mostly to my dad who deserves to be the happiest man I know..Thank you Swirly for being you (also a separate post) My friend
Gus, my undying friend since 2nd grade..i have known him most of my entire life and i think we have fought once..when we were in 3rd grade...I have driven countless miles with him and had countless adventures and he is the one driving with me to Boulder...again, escorting me and keeping me company in the way that only Gus can do..a true friend an, amazing artist...thank you Gus.  My brother.
Sophia...my ex girlfriend, who has taught me how to be true and given me a gift of letting go because she loves me...i will always love you for being you...my monkey
I will stop now as I realize that this will go on forever...but here is the point...stopping to remember all those things that people have given is a little overwhelming and it makes me feel more alive and it becomes more important for me to live fully so that I can return that to them and not cheat myself out of the love and life i have been given.
I am leaving this place not out of disgust or bad feelings or boredom...i am leaving with the love of this place on my shoulders...the ocean i have lived in, the roads i have ridden, the houses that kept me safe, the hills i have climbed, the friends who are everywhere, the million little places around town that hold a moment in time for me, the bluffs, the palm trees, the santa ana winds, the smell of rain in los angeles, the traffic, the burritos, Main Street, Venice, the theater....on an on i could go...My life in Los Angeles is powerful and complete and perfect...i will of course miss it...all of it, but I am taking my leave fully with closure and release and an excitement to see what else is out there....if you are still reading this, well, thanks...for everything little word, thought and love you have for me and for everything around you....

3 comments:

Swirly said...

I have learned the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones, our routines, our tried and true patterns. Sometimes this means small changes in our morning rituals, sometimes it means packing up and hitting the road. You will learn and grow in so many ways and we are all cheering you on every step of the way.

Frida said...

What beautiful tributes. I am a great believer in stopping to say thanks along the way AND in stepping out of the comfort zone. You have an exciting time ahead.

kelly rae said...

i met you briefly in feb at the girly show (i was one of swirly's artist friends who was a part of the group show). i just want to say how amazing it is that you are thoughtful in all of this and of your adventure. it sounds like you are incredibly thankful, with a youthful spirit of self renewal! woohoo! so cool.