politics

don't press this button, whatever you do, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

ok..so i found it fitting that me, one of the most un-political persons around, is smack dab in the middle...well almost, of the DNC...Luke, you will be the first to know that I am not the most...umm,,should i say, up to speed on all of this, but I still feel the urge to talk about one thing....which in my mind makes me feel like I am in high school during a school election, which i can't stand.

What the bleep is the f*&&^% deal with the fact that a large percent of Clinton supporters, upset with the fact that she is not nominated, are now either not voting or voting for McCain??? Now, I could be wrong about this information, but I heard a report that this percentage would be enough to sway a victory toward McCain. NOW, i do know enough that I would like a big change and I don't think McCain's camp would provide that. (again, keep in mind, that I am the mental capacity of a 1st grader during election time and would'nt pretend to know all the issues, but then again, 1st graders can be pretty damn perceptive..)

So, that being said, what is the point all you Clinton supporters, of working for change and then just because you are not happy with the initial outcome of who will help in the change, react so ridicuosly as to possibly F up the whole thing??? Huh??? What the bleep?

That's like saying, well, fine, if you're not friends with Jack, then I won't be friends with you and therefore we won't ever hang out again...or, maybe better, I won't eat ever again if you put tofu in my meals...pick the fucking tofu out...now I'm mad.

What is my point? My point is this...wake the F up people and start looking at the big picture..not who you like better between Obama and Clinton. Technically they are on the same team...so don't you think it would be smart to help that team continue and not give the other team a victory by default?

i will for sure be voting by the way due to all the folks out there that might sit at home and fume and cross their arms and act like babies...because they didn't get the right chocolate bar...theirs had nuts and they don't like nuts. Pick the fucking nuts out and eat it...
A starving kid would...aren't we starving kids at this point???

Love and Understanding (most of the time i guess right?)

Sprung

sprung, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

..."fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work, while fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work."

aha...i see said the blind man...of course..that makes perfect sense. First we kill ourselves and then we squish ourselves under the thumb of what should and shouldn't be..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

ok, fine, so with that in mind, we must hold on tightly to our own knowledge and ability and then be brave enough to maintain our own mark on the world and not fall prey to the pressures around us. Easy right?

Do you ever stop what you are doing and ask yourself.."why do I keep doing this?" Like yesterday, riding my bike, at around 9,000 feet, mile 17 of a mile 18 climb...having suffered for over an hour 1/2, i had a moment of...why don't i just stop and turn around and go DOWN hill??? I mean, everytime you see someone going the other direction it fills you with jealousy and envy...but then, my thought goes to.."no way, i have made it this far, and that would be stupid and cheating and i wouldn't be able to face myself all the way down the hill...now of course, there are times when you have to cut your losses, but I thin we truly know when to say when, or at least i am learning, but yesterday, i knew I could do it, i just had to set my own pace and push on...not much further and there was a Coke and a fast long downhill waiting for me..and when i went down, I was a happy man..fulfilled by my efforts and glad i didn't turn around.

That is like our are and our lives each day, and if we don't prevent ourselves from doing our best and not let others prevent ourselves from doing our own work, then it is as simple as riding a bike up hill and then down...one pedal stroke and breathe at a time, in the moment of joy and pain and power and weakness.

We are stronger than we know.

Love and Understanding.

Worn

raw, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

I like this shot alot because it is so simple..Most of the pics these days have so much color, but this one, aside from the green background, is very raw...and simple. I think for the first time I have begun to put together my artistic vision as a photographer and as an artist. I have to say, that I just started reading the book "Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of ARTMAKING" by David Bayles and Ted Orland. This book was given to me by a very prolific artist named.....SWIRLY....if you don't know who she is...you will. I think this book is truly important for an artist to visit. In the first two chapters i have been inspired, validated, and motivated to do more and to be ok with starting and stopping.

I was just having this discussion with my mom and Nita the other day...that our biggest enemy is ourselves..
"We have met the enemy and he is us" -Pogo
Ok, fine, so Pogo said it before and a tad more eloquently, but yes...it is too true and these days we spend so much time fighting our own thoughts and not giving into just being and doing. ( i suppose this is a big theme for me lately with all the creative juices flowing...to just keep doing. )

I have been matting my photos now for a week or so..doing a few each night and trying to zero in on my production method, which is finally feeling a little better. I have gotten better at cintug my mattes and working with the final proofs of pictures through photoshop..which i mostly use to crop and adjust some of the exposure, but usually try to not manipulate the shots too much, and then most of all, as the body of work comes together (17 now with mattes, and more on the way,) i am beginning to have a critical artistic vision of my efforts over the past year of photography. How i started in the world of construction, taking pictures of the jobsite and seeing so many details close up, the textures, the strange, yet perfectly arranged still lives, the angles, the brilliant colors in the everyday, to now, where my ability to see those elements in everything around and how my mind wants to see them in a moment of time through the lens. That moment is the what I find most fascinating in photography, now that i think about it...a picture is forever that moment, and most things will go on, day in day out, being...and I marvel at how different it is taking pictures of "things" versus people...a moment captured with a person is vastly different from a moment, say like the one above. I could go back and find this hydrant (assuming they don't get rid of it) a year later and he is still there, a sentinel, a solid fixture that changes only with light, and possibly a new paint job. A picture of a person, is never the same moment again...and I wonder, why do I not venture more into taking shots of people? maybe because I don't find it comforting to know that we are getting older by the second and time is not slowing down? hmmm, not sure on this , but it came to my mind as i was thinking about this whole creative vision.

I think it is not unlike standing in a grove of Redwood trees, which if you haven't done so...go now..do it...as it is one of the most amazing things you'll experience...These huge trees, magnificently standing in the same place for hundreds of years, silently weathering the world, majestically watching over the world around and beneath them...it is a sensation of them knowing more than you think..like they have the answers, but will never tell...I get that feeling walking around more than ever these days...like the energy of this fire hydrant...i don't know why, but I think he knows more than we think...imagine standing in the same place for 100 years??? what observations you would make, the changes?

Call me crazy, but that is my world as a photographer these days...

I digress...if you get a chance, read this book...it will inspire you.

so....today, go and be fearless....and find out what you are capable of doing.

Love and Understanding

Mars

locked red, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

how do we know?
i mean, here we are, messing around on planet earth and how do we know?
How do we know what the world will do?
She seems a tad angry at the moment.
You just cant know for sure i guess.
I heard that too much tofu is bad for you, at least for men...low sperm count.
What isn't bad for us these days?
Just eat it, drink it, do it, think it, in moderation...jeez.
How do we know that not eating bacon is good for you?
my grandfather ate a ton and smoked and drank...at least i think so.
i love bacon
all of this each day...to be or not to be...that is the question and always will be.
i never liked tofu anyway.

Love and understanding

Voices

blue vein, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

So today, those voices in our heads, the ones that we are constantly hearing and fighting and the ones that are questioning our abilities, our natural talents...today let's not let them talk..let's lock them in a closet or the bathroom or leave them at home with a kitty litter box and they talk shit in there all they want. Let's remember who we are and that we are bigger than they can imagine. Let's start that today so the voices get smaller and have less power and say in the matter throughout our lives...

Love and Understanding

machine

blue screw, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

part of the machine...plug in and go..unplug.
time flies
the grass is always greener
you're not a cow
wish I was
no you don't
they eat grass and make good Bigmacs
fly high
wish I was an eagle
yes.
but not bald, i like my hair
hair is dead
but it is so cool
bite my nails
they are dead too
Hungry for breakfast
time to start the engine
warm it up.
Run for hours
change the oil

Plug in and recharge

Bigfoot

rasta hydrant 2, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

ok...am I surprised that the recent Bigfoot find was a scam? Was i trying really hard not to stereotype the two backwoods guys that "found" him?? I mean..come on..and why is it that every friggin video or photo ever taken of Bigfoot is on some shitty camera that doesn't focus and has horrible resolution? We live in modern times people..can't someone at least get a good quality photo or video of the big guy? Oh wait, maybe like Sean Penn, he doesn't like photographers...It amazes me how gullible we still are..And another thing, why don't people just accept that Bigfoot is too smart for us? Obviously...I mean, we've sent probes to Mars and remote controlled them from earth, we cured Polio, we discovered how to smash two atoms together and blow up whole civilizations, but man, we can't seem to study the elusive man ape and bring along a decent fucking camera!!!! Now i am all worked up and...wait! I have a good camera!!! I could go find him and take at least one good shot of him running away from me!

Come on people. We all know Bigfoot is smart enough to live in places where some folk just don't have the obvious genes that it takes to figure out how to work a damn video camera. Take note those of you who want to get away from it all...I hear the northern Cali forests are nice and deep in Canada seems good too...if you like that kind of thing.

Love and Understanding for Bigfoot.

locked red 2

locked red 2, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

hard at work

hard at work, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

and so it begins..who are we to be small?

As I have begun the work in preparation of my first photo show, i have experienced a wide array of things that are so interesting to look at...first of all, i have been talking about this "show" for a long time, but i felt myself making excuses within...like, who am i to have a show? I am not a photographer...i never went to school, i don't know anything about it, how to price it, frame it, write about it, where to put them, which photos i would use...on and on and on...excuses and procrastination and fear and doubt...all the things that come up as artists...I remember going through the same thing when I became an actor...how the hell did I get cast in this play??? i don't even know how to memorize lines? but when it finally came down to it, I did it, and loved it and I was good at it...

The same thing has transformed for me in the photography that I have known in my heart are good, but it took me coming to the edge of the cliff and jumping and learning to fly on the way down..i finally was able to start the real creative process of choosing photos, matting them and realizing what I was capable of doing...and what I like and don't like, and what my creative goals are, and my vision and my style and the things that we, as artist, need to cultivate in order to have a creative flow and statement.

During these times i look toward those in my family and those who are my friends..the ones that I perceive as great artists and doers and thinkers and i get inspired by them.

The great thing about this art stuff, is the only thing that separates an artist from a non artist, is that defiant act of doing...the moment you hang something on the wall, or get on stage, or hand out your writing or sing...you are in...there is no one that can say you are not an artist, you have pushed the edge and are now giving to others without the knowledge of what will be become...it is a death defying and brave moment and I am proud to know so many of you who are doing that.

I too have done it many times on stage, but this is different for me...my vision through the camera is a very personal and private world..one that I see always, but one that may not be familiar to others. my vision of close up and inside and colors that are all around us...my vision of linear and spacial oddities in the every day world, the simple objects that are beautiful in shape and color and who take on personlities of there own..like the fire hydrants..little cowboys in the world..my urban cowboys. Like the small torn ribbon hanging on barbed wire, like the puddle in the chair, like the cone in the snow...I see the world in tiny fractions of spirit and life and I realize that I live my life like that sometimes...not really seeing the big picture, but only the details in front of me..for better or worse. But I do believe that not enough of us notice the details around and are too concerned about the big picture and end up missing the little gems of life all around us...the moments of odd coincidence and fashionable intangible makeup that could never be planned, but just is. This is my lens and my eye and that is what I see..

love and understanding

New Things

tied, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

Yesterday i tried something new...My cousin Ian took me trail riding on motorcycles...up in the Rocky MOuntains... I couldn't stop smiling for 5 hours at least afterwards...I have been riding motorcycles for a long time and once again, I have discovered a new facet of it that was completely new to me yet familiar in the ways of motorcycling...We got all geared up, forgot to bring the camera, and took off up the "road". Now mind you, it was raining and totally muddy and sloppy and wet, and I have NEVER ridden a dirt bike, much less ridden on trails, much less ridden on muddy sloppy wet trails. Ian is an excellent rider and his skills on the bike are incredible to watch so I followed his lead best i could. in the first 10 minutes I was really nervous and tense and trying to figure out how this thing handles and how to turn it and go with the flow.. There was a constant slipping and sliding of the back wheel and compared to a road bike, it is really unsettling at first, but then you start to get the rhythm of the bike and what it is capable of...incredible. This bike weighs about 140 pounds, less than me, and can roll over huge rocks and terrain that i would normally be totally freaked out about. Then we got to the river...yes, the river....what now? Well, Ian rode his bike across, walked back and then rode mine across as I waded across, getting both boots full of water..what did i get myself into???? I was getting nervous, but still having fun...then my first crash, not a bad one, but while riding through a puddle that was 10 feet wide and probably a foot deep, i hit a large rock and fell over...ok...fine, i picked up the bike and tried again, and as time went on i got better and better...more confidence...more understanding..I was learning something new!

on the way back, i knew that river crossing was coming up and I was feeling better and better, but I thought, how could I possibly cross this thing on my first day? Two guys caught up to us and we all arrived at the river crossing simultaneously. Ian went first, blazing a huge trail of water and spray and i could tell he was probably laughing the whole way...then the next guy went, but his approach was a bit slower and more cautious I guess...I watched and I thought, Hmmmmm...i could do that...then the third guy went and he too made it across with no problems...the river is about 2 1/2 feet or 3 feet deep, but from what I could tell there weren't any serious rocks in the bed...so I started up the bike and and siked myself up...the mud and slop and the steam comiong from my breath as I got ready to try something I had never done...ride a motorcycle across a river...hmmm...as I started the bike all three guys on the other side stopped, and I could tell Ian was saying..."oh oh, watch this you guys, this is his first trail ride and he's gonna cross...." It was on...i thought, now or never...so I cautiously rolled down the muddy rutted entry to the waters edge...gave it one more second of thought and went for it...Keeping my head about me and the throttle running hard, i pushed and slipped and slid and burst out onto the other side....i was beside myself...i had made it!!!! Ian was cheering and the other two guys were stoked for me...I made it.

The ride back to the car was easier than I remember as I had already learned more and what had seemed hard now seemed simple...The feeling of learning something new and having fun and falling down and getting up and crossing rivers...now that is what i call living.

It made me thing...in this life, we should always try new things and not be afraid to fail, or fall down. It keeps us young and sharp and excited. It is a constant reminder for me that I absolutely love all things motorcycle...race tracks, long trips with my dad, mellow rides, and now...trail riding...all of it. and why not???

So...this month, go learn something new....try it....do it....have fun...live


I started Swing Dancing too...tapping into my grandfather's roots...


Love and Understanding.

Floaty thing

saved, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

I started swimming a little the other day around the corner in one of the public pools...now, in case you didn't know, I don't like to swim, as a matter of fact runniong and swimming are my least favorite, but these days it is sooooo damn hot, that getting in the pool sounded like a good idea..so I bought some goggles and some swim trunks..no not speedoes, but a long version of them...a little easier to walk around and not feel lame...anyway, i swam for a bit, not really knowing "how" to swim..in other words, I did a crawl and used the kickboard for a bit and basically had a hard time floating and breathing, but in the end, I felt pretty good...great workout, easy on the body and refreshing...so I guess its not so bad, but just takes some time getting used to...I think i'll go swim today as it is 98 degrees or so again...whew...
Have a good day learning something new...

Love and Understanding