Cog

Cog, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

a cog in the wheel...sometimes i feel this way...at work, in life, you know...today is a gorgeous day out and i am winding down my morning creative, coffee, photo work, watch the bike race, oatmeal, get ready for a bike ride session...I feel somewhat settled into a good groove of balance right now between action, in action, creativity and being the cog in the wheel at work..fine...for now.

it is all part of the deal i suppose...

love and understanding

and so i sit

Window3, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

yep...here i sit pretending and wanting and wishing to be the artist that I am...sometimes it feels that way, you know, like who am i kidding. That is the point when you realize that this is hard work this art thing...the creative juice the creative soul. I think most people look at creative people and think they have some crazy magic that helps them create...ok, of course we know about our Muse and that is a huge part, but what I mean is, they figure we just get lucky and have so much creativity that it just flows out constantly without much effort. They don't see the days when we sit in our robe with a half glass of juice, a robe that should probably be washed and a feeling of not really having much to do or say...that moment when you think..."well, i must be tapped out..." When I get to that point, i like to make lists....

i make lists of all the things i have to do, want to do and need to do, however small and silly....even writing down the most obvious thing for me helps because as you do them you can cross them off and that always gives me a sense of accomplishment and moving forward...I also tend to get ideas when making lists and see that I really do have a ton to do and create...there are people to talk to, emails to write, things to photograph, places to go, drawers to clean out, bills to pay, shopping to do...you can look at it as creative productive procastination...because at some point, you will run out of things to do and then you'll really be up the creek without a paddle. I usually find that somewhere about half way down the list, I start to feel like i've accomplished some things and then i suddenly feel like creating or a spark will happen, or maybe i'll think of something REALLY important to do that needs to be done...like clean the garage out...which I did...the good thing is it gets done and it is no longer an excuse looming...you know, like taxes...

clearing out the list is one way to push through the creative lull....

hmmm....so today i am looking at my list and i also realize that I somehow always succeed in putting really big scary things down to make sure i challenge myself and stay true to the big picture...like talking to a book publisher...holy crap...who put that on my list???

first i have to go to the bank.


Love and Understanding.

Rain

Windows, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

today is a rainy day with thunder that sounds like the thunderbolts from Zeus himself...love it. I have decided that being industrious and prolific is fun. So from now on, I will endeavor to be prolific and industrious. So there.

Love and Understanding.

Support

Stilts1, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

of course this is the analogy of life these days...supporting the facade of the great building...but behind, it is sometimes empty. Today is a rainy day and after walking a bit, I am hunkered down working on my photos...i can't help but get lost in the process and then I get into my head a bit like this...
"what am I doing?"

you thought there would be more to that didn't you? nope...that is a huge broad statement, but think about it...on all levels...What am I doing?
right now...or tomorrow...or in general...it works for everything. Sometimes it is a silly thought, sometimes a concerned thought, and sometimes a doubtful one...but at least it peaks our interest to make sure things are happening...

I really don't know what I am doing most of the time to be honest. What are you doing?


Love and understanding.

sitting

sitting, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

it has been a bit since i have visited...i suppose i have been "sitting". I felt such a huge effort of creative energy during the last few months that I realized i needed to rest a bit-to regain my creative strength. Just like I do with bike riding or working out...you need to rest in between and recover. It is the only way. So I have been resting. Of course during the rest is when the mind starts to think of all the next things to do. So many good things on the horizon, but no the challenge of starting again...sitting and starting. So you see, the sitting is the challenge on both ends. Sitting to rest and being quiet, or sitting to start the creative effort. Both have their own challenges.

I had such a blessed reminder again last night from a tribe member who reminded me how important this blog is for many people and for myself. I also had my chart read by a dear friend and to take away the simplest meaning for me is this....My "north node", which is my life track, is to follow my intuition, my heart...not logic...not the "right" way...but to follow my way...That way for me is all creative and all mysterious, but I do know that when I live my life that way amazing things happen and open up. This is the track to be on and to focus on.

I can go either way with Astrology. I am interested in it, but it is also something I don't let run my thoughts. However, I must admit, that having a planetary confirmation of positive motion sure feels good and just adds to the reason for doing and being something. If the planets said, "you should be a math teacher" I think I would be in big trouble....

I believe we all have the power to follow our intuition or our instincts and that when we do, life is easier in some ways. It is when we fight against our gut, our intuitive knowledge, that life becomes confusing. I have done it so many times. My body and heart is telling me to get out, to run, to not proceed, but I do. And later i think back and wonder what I was trying to do? There are times when we know it isn't the right thing, but our intuition tells us to stay for the lesson and the experience. Those times are important too, but mostly, moving quickly through the moment of instinct is for our survival...it is for our track and staying on our track is the key. There are times to come off it and to explore the surrounding areas, but really, the joy is on the track....

The other half of the North Node element, was my track of reaching people on a grand scale of sharing...like the blog does, or my book, or my photos...this is the journey that is part of my track and to be able to do this is magic.

So, thank you for always being here and reading and listening.

Here is to living in our intuitive self.

Love and Understanding.

time

Chevrolet, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

stages of life..the chapters...the things that we are doing now turn into the things that are done and over and complete. We move on and forward and look back at those things and marvel at the experience. Starting a new chapter is never easy, but always exciting. Not knowing what may come down the road or what lies beyond the next turn. It is the part of life that we do. I must say, having someone with you to start and end chapters is amazing. And so Nita starts a new chapter. She has graduated officially with a Masters Degree in Performance. I have been blessed to be able to share it with her for almost 2 years, but now starting together a new chapter is exciting. Not to mention the wedding of course being one of those, but watching her now decide on new things to tackle and accomplish and I get to be a part. And for me too...being in my current chapter of life, not knowing what may come, but knowing she is there sharing it with me too. It certainly helps. The lulls of life, the crazy times, the doubtful times. They all come together in the end to form the experience of now. I am remembering back to my graduation...except i was only 25...not knowing what to do, but just going for it. No i get to experience that again...and again...

the road is long...walk slow.


Love and understanding.

magic

Cheverolet Original, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

So last night I saw some amazing theater...a condensed version of Hamlet in a Yurt. It was an amazing example of presenting a play with precise simplicity and amazing ingenuity and passion. It is always inspiring to see the other artists around you going for the big one. I am proud to be part of such a diverse group of artists and it makes me feel hungry to keep creating...so here is to Monday and to creating beyond others expectations and going for broke....

Love and Understanding.