and so i sit

Window3, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

yep...here i sit pretending and wanting and wishing to be the artist that I am...sometimes it feels that way, you know, like who am i kidding. That is the point when you realize that this is hard work this art thing...the creative juice the creative soul. I think most people look at creative people and think they have some crazy magic that helps them create...ok, of course we know about our Muse and that is a huge part, but what I mean is, they figure we just get lucky and have so much creativity that it just flows out constantly without much effort. They don't see the days when we sit in our robe with a half glass of juice, a robe that should probably be washed and a feeling of not really having much to do or say...that moment when you think..."well, i must be tapped out..." When I get to that point, i like to make lists....

i make lists of all the things i have to do, want to do and need to do, however small and silly....even writing down the most obvious thing for me helps because as you do them you can cross them off and that always gives me a sense of accomplishment and moving forward...I also tend to get ideas when making lists and see that I really do have a ton to do and create...there are people to talk to, emails to write, things to photograph, places to go, drawers to clean out, bills to pay, shopping to do...you can look at it as creative productive procastination...because at some point, you will run out of things to do and then you'll really be up the creek without a paddle. I usually find that somewhere about half way down the list, I start to feel like i've accomplished some things and then i suddenly feel like creating or a spark will happen, or maybe i'll think of something REALLY important to do that needs to be done...like clean the garage out...which I did...the good thing is it gets done and it is no longer an excuse looming...you know, like taxes...

clearing out the list is one way to push through the creative lull....

hmmm....so today i am looking at my list and i also realize that I somehow always succeed in putting really big scary things down to make sure i challenge myself and stay true to the big picture...like talking to a book publisher...holy crap...who put that on my list???

first i have to go to the bank.


Love and Understanding.