space

chute, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

so i have travelled back to Santa Monica for the weekend and I marvel at the space around me...not the physical space but the mental space..the place i have created in my own mind and place to walk here in the busy world of LA and feel like I have a HUGE space around me...breathing room and an identity that I never had before when I did live here. A different perspective i suppose than before...like I am outside looking in. there is a calmness with that in this crazy frenetic energy that makes me realize that it isn't so bad here, you just need to have a super strong realization of who you are and how you stand...I am not saying I suddenly know who I am, but having some clarity sure helps. I find myself not working to stay out of negative mindsets like I used to, but actually being a part of the affirmative world here; looking at people in the eye, listening to them and bringing a real moment to them. Those moments in this city are rare and I wish it weren't so, but it is...point being, we need to make the effort to be kind and to spend the small moments wisely so we can spread the good energy around.

My dad and Swirly have an amazing set up here and have managed to do just that...they are the beacon in the storm here, where those who are lucky enough to share a part, get to visit and be taken care of and nurtured. there is a quiet place in the house upstairs that feels calm and cozy and i always feel ok here.

I have the same feeling in Boulder when we sit in our cozy little place and feel safe and taken care of...i think it comes down to how we set up our nests so we feel ok...so we feel like we can return any time we want and feel ok...that place that is the sanctuary for our souls and hearts and minds....i realize that being here in the nice weather reminds me that i am really adjusting to the winter for the first time...i mean last year was new and novel and i leaped right in..this year it has changed before my eyes and i find myself wanting to hunker down and be still and quiet..i get it...part of my feelings lately, have been for sure related to the winter months...something I am not quite used to yet. I like it, don't get me wrong but it feels, well....different and I understand it better from a distance, which makes it ok. Winter is a time to hunker a bit and get introspective and make the adjustment into a slower pace. it just is...

so here is to hunkering down in the winter and feeling ok with that.

love and understanding.