Friday, July 31, 2009

drive


Tip, originally uploaded by Justin Davis Davanzo.

the drive to be somebody, to do something, to be good, to be strong, to be famous, to be a parent, to love, to succeed, to be quiet.

I think one of the most satisfying things in life is to recognize a goal or idea and accomplish it, no matter how small or grand it may be in someone else's eyes. I realized last night that a large part of my life is measured by my physical goals to be strong, or in shape or to ride my bike farther or faster. I am not sure what part of my personality drives me in this way, but it has always been a meditation and release for me..and a sense of purpose and accomplishment, something tangible that I can be proud of that I did out of hard work and commitment...maybe that is what it is. Because sometimes, the other things I love in life are measured by other markers of success, but physical fitness is pretty simple to measure for yourself and no one can tell you that you didn't do it. Yes, it may be the same with our other endeavors, but there are different hurdles to overcome. For example, as an artist, we are constantly measuring ourselves against those who have come before and those around to give us permission to be an artist, whereas, I can ride my bike 100 miles and I know that no matter what, that was a HUGE success for my mind and body....no one can say to me, yeah, but you don't quite have the skill or experience or talent...no one can tell me anything. I can be proud of it no matter what anyone thinks or says....

now you may say, "wait, this should be the same for art" and when I say art, i am talking about art on a grand scale...all of it, whatever you consider as art...Generally at some point, an artist needs someone to say, "that is great art and you are an artist" to really make it hit home...or do they?

This is my struggle...the truth is this.
I am learning and trying to practice the same drive, satisfaction and love for my talent as an artist as I do for my physical body. I am not saying that I am a professional athlete, but I do think that as I get older, I am strong and able and healthy and damn proud of it. Could I be stronger and faster? Sure. But that is not the point. The point is how do I also feel good about my work as an artist without relying on those around to tell me it is good. How do I take my art to the next level without relying on others to take me there?

I suppose this is just like the way I look at riding my bike or working out...little by little i get stronger and faster....

So here is to the artist in me and you...little by little we grow larger and brighter and spread our love for what we do to all those that can see it.

Love and Understanding

3 comments:

grace said...

yes!

lu said...

I think the a good portion of the insecurities might be part of the drive. It's a bit of a catch 22 isn't it. We want to feel that we have arrived, that we are appreciated, but then what? I'm beginning to realize that my insecurities are part of the nature of me, while I want to feel less of them, I am working harder at learning to live with them. I'm working to get past the need for outside affirmations, to trust what I like, how I feel, what I want.

Still, we all want appreciation. Loads of it.

You are a great artist Justin, I love the details you choose to capture.

Congratulations on the marriage to you and beautiful nita!

Richard said...

if you and nita go to the colorado historical museum in denver there is a huge section on central city and baby doe and the opera house. it has a wonderful exhibit and is such a colorado story. i must now go to recess after my nap