Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Knee

ok...well, it has been a few days for a few reasons..work, distractions, laziness...but here is the thing, you know that saying, "if you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans." let's just say he's laughing now...i didn't really have a ton of plans coming out and things materialized in ways that felt natural..and then bam, just like that, the seemingly natural "plans" are instantly gone and changed and the course of your plans are altered, maybe forever, maybe momentarily...two days ago i injured my knee while skiing in Winter Park..some of the best snow i have skied in a long time and on the second run of the morning, pop and down i went...i wasn't skiing totally out of control, but let's put it this way, i was a bit excited and pushing the limits and i finally, after 24 years of skiing, "blew my knee out"...my instant moment of panic and realization as i heard the talked about "pop" and felt my knee give away was followed only by the thought of not being able to work and teach, then ski, then box, then ride my bike...you see where I am going...it all fell apart in one instant...now, as it stands today, i went to a surgeon who scheduled me for an MRI to establish wether I have actually torn my lateral meniscus or just bruised it horribly...the good thing is i still have an ACL in my knee...but either way, if this particular tendon is torn, i will need surgery and that could be 6-8 weeks of recovery and pretty much my ski season...why this "happened" i am unsure and as usual i have tried to seek out the answer, but i then realize that first of all, this is a minor set back in life, and second, it is a way to explore other options that i had not begun to explore yet...like really attacking my photography and some more acting etc..staying positive and creative and believing that all these things happen for reasons bigger and smarter than we are...they seem cruel and unreal and not fair...in reality, they are those moments that change our lives and we look back and say, wow...if i hadn't done this then this wouldn't have happened...i don't know what that is for me right now..i am still struggling with the reality of what has happened...i cannot ski, i cannot teach skiing, i cannot walk very well, i cannot box, i can't drive a stick, I can't jump rope, i can't ride my bike...yet...all of this is simply followed by yet or now...so be it..fine.  i am open and willing to explore the other venues in my life and to learn how to be nice to my physical side...i keep thinking and reliving the moment when  i made the minor mistake to ski over to a spot that i thought was powder and it turned out to be huge bumps...if i had just paid a little more attention and turned I would be fine..damn...well, that doesn't work I guess...so there, it is done...now I need to move forward.  Just a reminder to us all that as minor as my injury is in the grand scheme....make sure we are always aware of our health and journey..i am feeling that this has happened for a very good reason, but it may not be clear for a while.  until then I will work towards life in a calmer way...i'll start by going to Mexico with Gus for a week since I have nothing better to do right now...and I will take a ton of pics in Mexico...I wish everyone health and if you get a sec, send some good thoughts to the knee...
i don't think you can read the sign to the right...but it says that mountain lions have eaten a few dogs in the past weeks so watch your kids..something like that...so...be careful out there...

5 comments:

melissa said...

oh man that does suck. i hope the knee isn't as bad as you think and some rest and relaxation in Mexico will help. i'll be sending good wishes to you and your knee!

Ms. Conley said...

Sending good thoughts to the knee!

Vintagedivva said...

Your right! All the "Events" that take place in our lives take us somewhere new and whether that event seems like a downhill slide at times, it's really all about the perception we have about it, isn't it?

Tell that knee I said to take care of Justin! Hope you are up and hopping soon!

~nikki

bohemiangirl said...

So sorry to hear about your knee. I am amazed and inspired by your perspective. Sending healing thoughts your way.

Swirly said...

Remember - MINOR setback!! It was SO GREAT to see you!! Love you!!