Friday, January 18, 2008

Standing Still


Trilogy Speed, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

I woke up this morning for the first time feeling ready to get up and not lay around in bed moping. I realized something so cool...for so many years i have been working my butt off, waking up early, stressing out, wishing i had more creative time on my hands etc...and this morning I woke up thinking, hmmm, what do i get to do today? that is an awesome feeling...Last night i auditioned for a two person play that would be shown in the Fringe Festival at Boulder, a cutting edge theater festival that is becoming very well known...i got an email today being invited back to call backs on Saturday...i am not surprised at this, not because i am bragging, but because i knew it. I am primed and ready to work and be creative and they see that and feel it. I am planning on getting the role which will give me a huge boost in my creative purpose, and if it does not work out then so be it. I am also feeling good about creating a "schedule" for myself..such as, get up, have coffee, check emails, work on blog, work out (of course with surgery this may slow a bit, but not much!) 2-3 hours a day devoted to photography, eat sometime in there, read, workout again (i am a little cuckoo about that i know) go to photography class, go to my wed night nude modeling job (45 bucks for two hours aint bad...i've done it for free), realax...or something of that variation..point being...i get to create my life and day now...it does not create me...

I have had a lot of time to think and reflect and I will have a ton more coming up..and the one thing i have encountered over and over is the idea that this is all part of the plan...the master plan...i have been talking to many new faces and i find myself being sort of relentless in my questions to them, as if i am questioning myself along the way..for example.
JD "so, what keeps you busy during the day?"
XY "umm, well, i work far away at an ad agency...um doing marketing and things. it is ok " No excitement at all in the voice or body...
JD"well, what would you do if you didn't have to do that?"
XY-pause...not really sure what to say to that..."I'd quit my job and travel around the world."
JD" wow, that sounds awesome..so what are you waiting for?"
XY-pause..smile..."i don't know...."

it makes people think...it makes me think...we need to keep asking ourselves the questions and pushing the envelope...as a good friend of mine said to me the other day..."I don't want to be bored with what i do...i don't care about the money, just give me something that will challenge me." He is right...don't be boring and if you are...start asking questions...

speaking of being bored..i need some coffee..
jd

5 comments:

Vintagedivva said...

Right on!
I hear yah! The last blog I wrote touched on some of these questions and it's important to ask them. Any opportunity we seek is our's for the keeping. We just have to make a choice to move on it and make it a reality, just like you are doing! Thumbs Up!

tina said...

Hi, Justin; I found your blog through Susannah's and I'll be back...

Robyn said...

Isn't it great to wake up in the morning and wonder "What shall I do with this big chunk of time?" As long as its art related I'm happy!

melissa said...

Good for you! There are days when I wish I could do exactly what you're doing...except the nude modeling thing (a little self conscious for that)....but to wake up and wonder hmmm...what will I do today?!? So excited for you (and a bit jealous too)!

Swirly said...

Indeed...I second Melissa...how many people on this planet dream of days where they can wake up and decide on the spur of the moment what they will do. This is a time for you to explore, create and see where the wind takes you. THIS ALONE is inspiring in bigger ways than having some big job title or huge income...living a passionate, authentic, creative life...this is what the world needs more than anything. Keep going...keep staying open.