Sunday, December 2, 2007

Farewell-The Party and other ruminations

my kind of place....
Well, it finally happened last night...the dreaded and anticipated "Going Away Party"...I only say that because it was the one night I was not looking forward too..the goodbyes and the reality of the journey...As excited as I am to venture out it all seems so strange when your friends and family who you see and love so often are there to say, "we will miss you dearly, but we are excited for you!"  There are moments in life when the profound truth of the situation comes screaming to life as it did last night...the meaning of true love and friendship that has been given to me by all my friends, my dad, Swirly, my sister and my mom, Sophia...all of them are pulling for me...I was more emotional last night than i have been in a long time as one by one, they said goodbye and I watched them go...knowing that I would of course see them again, but also knowing that life would not be the same for any of us...I was struck by the love of my friends for each other during last nights party...it was as if they all felt the same thing...a connection to the loss of another friend, but a joy to meet tribe members and find new ones at the same time...it made me think that at all times we are responsible for our love in friends as it is the blessing we give to them as well as what we receive.  By bringing together all my friends, I was able to share them and it somehow made things feel right.  
At one point my dad called everyone into the main living room and his words of love and encouragement are words I will never forget..I was trying not to get emotional, but it was so amazing to hear him say how proud he is and how excited.  My dad's blessing is one of the most important to me and it is because of him that I am able to take such a leap of faith.  He is also my best friend and it will most likely be the toughest transition for me as our relationship is more like brothers these days.  As he said, it will simply change the dynamics and force other things to take place.  Things that I can't imagine..like my sister stepping up and becoming more of a center piece in his life and Christine's, even taking this opportunity to go to Motorcycle Safety Foundation so she can learn to ride a motorcycle...i am excited for Taylor to get closer to my dad and to Christine and as my dad said, this would only come about with my absence...a sort of twist that is unexpected in all our lives.  I love my dad.
My sister was there too...celebrating her brother and giving me the usual unconditional support and love that she always does...This may all sounds sappy and ridiculous, but who cares...it is the real shit... we need to cherish and remember and embrace, because that is all we have in the end..."Happiness is best when shared with someone else"...or that is what i think the quote was at the end of Into The Wild...read it if you haven't or at least see the movie..that is the truth..that was last night.  Sharing the love and joy and happiness and receiving.  I love my sister.  And anyone that has negative connotations to the words "Step Mother"...check yourself because mine is the bomb (ok..that was for you Swirly...all said in Napolean Dynamite dialect) Swirly's support and love is overflowing for my entire family and it's superhuman. Thanks Swirly. I love you too.  
Ok...so at this point, it is more than clear that I am blessed and lucky and as this day comes to a close and my new journey begins tomorrow at 8 am with my best friend Gus as my co pilot, I will go into my wild with open heart and the love of all my friends and family and I will be proud and strong and brave and humble and worthy of it all...To those I have not mentioned personally, this would simply take too long and fill too many pages and i am exhausted, but each and everyone of you know who you are and that I will miss you greatly...this is the end of a big chapter in my life...here in Santa Monica, where I once ran around the block in a pair of underwear and nothing else, where I fell in love, where I rode like the wind and where I became a man.  I am that man...the road is long and i am on it...See you in Colorado my friends.

For all the pics...go to the flickr link and see Going Away..
(The party...also starring: Hamilton, Gus, Lisa, Guggan, Mike B, John K, Mike and Charlotte, Alex and Laurette, Kent!, Taegen, Kathleen, Celine, Susan, Jaque, Alex and Fielden, Pabalito, Joe, David, Pauly, Susan(the english one), and of course Monkey....

6 comments:

Swirly said...

Beautiful, Brave Warrior Justin...I see you with wild, powerful wings, a shield of armor and a face free of worry or guilt or regret...a face full of the power and love you bring to the world. Boulder has no idea how lucky it is. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. xoxo

melissa said...

How exciting and scary and emotional and oh yeah did I say exciting?!! What an amazing journey you are on and I can't wait to see how things unfold. Good luck and hopefully I'll get to see you on a visit to LA...or I'll just have to get to Boulder one of these days :)

Frida said...

What a beautiful post, it tells a lot about you that you have all these loving people in your life. I lvoed Swirly's post today as well.

Today I have my own farewells to say, from Ghor, and I'm already in tears before I even get in the room. But like you - it is time for me to move on and sometimes we have to give the ties that bind a painful little stretch in order to do that, right?

I have a plan to come and visit you in Boulder, since that's also near the Shambhala retreat that I have always dreamed of visiting!

Travel well and we look forward to more details of your new home here!

Boho Girl said...

sending traveling angels your way.

love all your deeply sweet words about your friends and family.

i am so glad you had them all together for this supported you needed before your new journey begins.

fly my friend...fly!

ps. yes...Swirly is creating a new name for Step Mom. she rocks in so many ways.

Melba said...

Justin,
I have a horrid, horrid step mother. I try not to dwell on my past~ I don't talk to her and rarely talk to my dad. Today happens to be my father and her's wedding anniversary so the subject of them came up a few times today. All sad memories.

I am so happy I read Christine's post today that directed me here. My heart feels lighter knowing that there are wonderful step mothers who have beautiful relationships with their step children. I know not everyone does, but you are proof some do.

I wish you well on your journey.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I really loved reading "Into the Wild"

Take Care~
Melba

bohemiangirl said...

I found your site through Swirly and am loving reading about your adventures. I am now settled into a place but I've picked up and landed so many times in the past that I always have that itch to hit the open road. Your adventure is simultaneously giving me the itch and scratching it at the same time.

Also, love, love, love Into the Wild.

Happy Journey!