Monday, December 3, 2007

Won't find these in Boulder


Bird of Paradise, originally uploaded by boxersiciliano.

This morning I woke up, went downstairs, had coffee and relaxed a bit with dad and swirly and my sis...we walked out to the shuttle (as I like to call it) and proceeded with a very difficult 5 minutes of goodbyes...then I got in the truck and slowly meandered away from home...from Santa Monica, from Los Angeles, from California..to a new place. I cried a bit as I drove down wilshire blvd to pick up Gus, my co-pilot, called my mom, and just breathed.
I am thankful that Gus is with me as it has helped calm me a bit and he helped me remember that i am not going that far and that it is all part of the journey.
Today was a beautiful day and the drive was completely therapeutic...we rolled north along the sprawling freeways out into the far away track homes of Upland and the Mojave and got on the 15 towards Vegas..all the while playing songs on the ipod and talking and laughing and sometimes being silent...the truck got 283 miles to the first tank which cost 89 dollars to fill up....its gonna be slow going and gas guzzling! All told we drove 400 miles today into Utah and stopped in a small city called St. George..My dad and I have ridden through here on our motorcycles quite a few times while heading to Zion...Chili's for dinner...mmmmmm yum....a beer, a burger and back to room 237...
The great thing about today is there is no more mystery, anticipation or worry and I feel very calm..I think that finally putting this into motion has cemented the idea that the journey is real.
As I left LA, it was a huge feeling of release...like i finally escaped...like that moment in Shawshank Redemption when Andy Duphrane crawls through a tunnel of shit over 500 yards long, and swims down the river to the ocean and makes it to Mexico...all the while relishing in his journey and his patience and time that it took to get him there...that is what it feels like to escape from los angeles and go to Boulder..for me at least...everyone has that moment in life..when they leave, escape, skip town...it is a great bittersweet moment in life and i am alive...and the journey is great.

5 comments:

Susannah said...

and the journey really *is* great, isn't it... stepping forward to a new horizon, a new future, a new you, with the cushioning love of your family and friends right behind you... there's such optimism in your words, J - it's incredibly inspiring x

Swirly said...

I have found that it is usually that very first step - that pulling away - that is the most difficult. Once you've made it down the road a bit breathing does become easier and your only job is to look to the future with wild optimism and joy. We are so proud of you!!

Ms. Conley said...

I understand that scene where Any Duphrane crawls out of that whole and arrives in Mexico. Always makes me cry because as "Red" said, "Getting busy living, or get busy dying." You are busy living! Very inspirational!

Schmoops said...

hi justin ~

i found you through the girlies ~ denise, swirly & frida.

i am enjoying reading about your leap from LA into the wild and wonderful unknown.

i did the same thing about ten years ago, my journey... alaska. it was the most amazing, freeing, teaching experience and a journey which completely changed my perspective. although as irony would have it, i am back in LA now. ; )

i know so well those feelings you describe of driving further down the road, first with tears, then with overpowering excitement. the release is incredible, open roads filled with nothing but possibility.

you are on an incredible path, one that will further change you and open your heart. i can't wait to see how it unfolds for you. obviously you have a lot of love holding your hand along the way.

shawshank is one of my favorite movies, i cry buckets each time i see it. you are definitely getting busy living!

look forward to reading more.

onwards and upwards.
xoxo

Justin Davis Davanzo said...

i love being able to share this experience with all of you...it is so amazing to connect with those who get it and it is so inspiring to read that you are all part of the same journey...thank you so much for all of your courage and love.